In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

Song I am listening to: 1999 by Prince

Current refreshment: Nothing

Current state of mind/mood: Nervous! *bites nails*..lol.

AARGH! Guess what TODAY is..PRESENTATION day! And I am sooo NOT prepared..I didn't practice it AT ALL..maybe it's good I didn't..it won't look rehearsed..I'll prolly appear to be calm. Hey maybe a disaster will happen fourth period to prevent us from presenting? LOL Yah riiight. Oh well..I just have to suck it up and take DEEP breaths.

Yesterday..was..interesting! lol We ended up being in my math class for three fricking hours..there was only like 10 kids there..INCLUDING me! I was bored out of my fricking mind and had no one to talk to cos the girl I normally talk to had to do testing. So they showed a movie..Ferris Bueller's day off..I watched that..and read the magazine I had with me..THEN I decided to write. So I ended up writing a two page poem/story that I will put up for my sweetie on my other name for V-day. It came out OK..I guess.

Ohh wait before that the spitter was being an annoying retard. lol. The bell rings at 10..I was all "Shiit that means there IS a 3rd hour." Of course, asshole Rob was there today..being his usual jerky self. And Richie(the black kid) goes: "Are you cheating on me..I saw you with that little kid this morning." heh and it's funny cos he looked serious when he said that though again, it's a huge joke. So then he asked me if he likes me so I said "Yah prolly..I don't know..don't WANT to know.." So he said "That's mean." So I smiled my devilish smile..and said "Yep, I know."

I saw some yearbooks from the Class of 93 and 96 yesterday. I love that kind of shtuff! Looking at how people used to dress and their hairstyles and shtuff from then and what the people look like now. I love history..I just have this yearning to learn aboot what life was like BEFORE I came into it. Just to see what events were important and shtuff. History is cool! It makes most people fall asleep but I love it.

Today we are buying our Compatibility things. Woo hoo this is going to be sooo funny..I am getting ready to LAUGH right aboot now..I can really use one b/c of my family life basically.

Yesterday me and mom fought again..it's purdy much an everyday thing. I was talking to Nate and we were having a kick ass really nice conversation and he had to go pick his mom up so I was sitting here..EVERYTHING went wrong during that time. Michelle messaged me on MSN and I guess I was drunk lol cos I answered it. Most of the time I ignore her. So then mom starts yelling cos earlier she was online and I was talking to Nate..keeping him waiting..so I got mad cos it seemed like she was taking her sweet time.

She accused me of having a major attitude and yells and goes "You are getting off line in FIFTEEN minutes..AND you are doing the dishes.." Then she starts putting Nate in the conversation..she saw she wasn't really succeeding in getting me mad so she HAS to bring Nate up..I didn't really even talk back just asked Why she feels the need to ruin my life..and she didn't say anything. *Sighs* I NEED to get out of here when I turn 18.

I can't STAND it anymore..the ups and downs..and you know what? There are a LOT more downs than ups. Her giving me a hard time..my dad not understanding why I have a fierce hatred toward him..just everything. I need to break free and be away from them..and be out on my own. So IF I still feel this way in September..Nate says I can move in with him. We'll see though but I just get a headache every damn day.

So after a while mom just tells me not to talk to her which was MORE than fine by me..Michelle is *STILL* trying to grill me and of course one of the FIRST questions she asks is "What are your plans for V-day?" And shiit..at this moment I wasn't in the mood..I tried to be nice as possible but I think it came out more of me being polite..don't know..i just didn't feel like answering her probing questions anymore. So Nate comes back THEN I have to go cos we had to eat.

So me and Mom get into a fight aboot the dishes and I say I did them a few nights ago..and OF COURSE when we were fighting dad yells out "SHUT THE FUCK UP..ALL YOU DO IS ARGUE BACK AND FORTH." What a nice guy. Fucking dick. Did god WANT to punish me and give me this crappy family? GRRRR!

I find out I get 2 cards for modeling in the mail..I don't know WHY they sent me two but it doesn't interest me..and a new magazine. I read a bit of it and found out Joshy! is starring in TWO new movies! Woo hoo a whole lotta Josh. Speaking of Josh read this.. :(

Josh Hartnett's cruising for a bruising on his latest film set, Hollywood Homicide, with actor Harrison Ford (the two play Los Angeles police detectives). During a chase sequence, Josh crashed his car into a wall, according to ET Online. But not to worry, the Hollywood hunk walked away from the crash without any serious injuries. So why didn't he have a stunt double? Well, Harrison does all of his own stunts, so Josh wanted to do his own stunts, too! Can someone talk some sense into these guys?

Aww! As long as he is OK. :) HOLLYWOOD HUNK? DAMN RIGHT! =)

Now it is 8..time for Gilmore Girls..it was rather interesting. I thought FOR SURE Rory and Jess would break up but it turns out that she is actually thinking of having sex with him and TELLS her mom!! No way in HELL when I have sex for the first time am I telling mom! The only time I'll EVER tell her anything is if i'm either pregnant..or getting married.

Then I turn the radio on..and they are playing "Underneath it all" and then RIGHT after "If I could change the world" comes on aww!

So then, I watch Real World..it wasn't as interesting as I thought. Basically the 'gang' is doing something for Stuff magazine..asking women that work in Rain personal/sexual questions and doing a photo shoot..and shit. TRASHelle, Frank, Steven are off to USC..Frank thinks he is going to CRASH the interview but does REALLY WELL. Gets accepted. :) TRASHelle is on a mechanical bull as is Frank. Frank tells Emily he got accepted but before all of this..They are all in a club and Frank thinks of how hot trashy is and he HAS to do something so he kisses her TWICE and IMMEDIATELY guilt kicks in.

He calls Emily and tells her what he did and she is obviously not too happy but says it's ok because he told her aboot it and it was just a kiss and he said he was drunk. But Frank, just being Frank beats himself up over it and calls Emily and says that he doesn't deserve her and he don't know how they are going to survive a LDR and all that and he is going to cause her pain cos what if he kisses some other girl or something? And their life is taking different directions.

THAT my friends..is COMPLETE shit! ohh and when he kissed her EVERYONE was shocked..including Trashy. Why is it shit? MANY people think LDR cannot work..folks..it CAN..if the two people are WILLING to make it work. There is such thing as internet..letters..phone calls..you can send them presents..there are MANY things you can do..just keep in constant communication..see each other as much as you can and everything will be great. They just did NOT try..so he broke up with her and felt bad cos he really liked her.

*sighs* What an idiot..he said he broke her trust because he kissed trashy and he killed the relationship and shit..he let his hormones take over..all I could do was say to myself typical man but he felt sooo bad aboot what he did.

So the photo shoot went well..they did good though at first Arissa didn't want to do anything. Next week..Arissa breaks up with Dario..Irulan is now with someone else..Alton is kissing some chick.

People in the "Real World" this real world we live in are sooo messed up! Tonight is Dawson's..yay can't wait..and today we are making milkshakes in my Nutrition class.

I swear to GOD I am part Psychic! I know i've said this before but yesterday for some reason Manny came to my mind..I don't know WHY cos I HATE him so I am walking..I look over to my left and JUST then Manny comes walking down the stairs..I was like Dayyumm lol and then last night I was hoping the song "I don't want to miss a thing" by Aerosmith would come on the radio and it DID!! I was in total shock..lol.

Woo hoo TWO More days till V-day.. love is in the AIR! fcuk yeah! lol Some girl in my 5th hour was showing another girl a card she got for her boyfriend..I just simply smiled. It looked soo sweet and I thought of MY honey. =)

Mom is SNORING! AWWWWWWWW! "Chapel of love" is on the radio!! Here's the lyrics.

Going to the chapel

And we're gonna get married

Going to the chapel

And we're gonna get married

Gee I really love you

And we're gonna get married

Going to the chapel of love

(Bow bow bow bow bow)

(Bow bow bow bow bow)

Spring is here (ooo-ooo-ooo)

The sky is blue (sky is blue)

Birds all sing (oh the birds all sing)

Like they do (yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)

Today's the day (wah-hooo-oooo)

We'll say "I do" (ooo-oooo)

And we'll never be lonely anymore

(Bow bow bow bow bow)

(Bow bow bow bow bow)

Because we're

Going to the chapel

And we're gonna get married

Going to the chapel

And we're gonna get married

Gee I really love you

And we're gonna get married

Going to the chapel of love

(Bow bow bow bow bow)

(Bow bow bow bow bow)

Bells will ring (ri-ii-iing) (bells will ring)

The sun will shine (hey hey hey yeah) (the sun will shine)

I'll be hers (yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah) (I'll be hers)

And she'll be mine (oh oh oh oh oh oh oh) (and she'll be mine)

We'll love until (we'll love until) (hey hey hey) (we'll love until)

The end of time (ooo hooo) (the end of time)

And we'll never be lonely anymore

(Bow bow bow bow bow)

(Bow bow bow bow bow)

Because we're

Going to the chapel

And we're gonna get married

Going (goin') to the chapel

And we're gonna get married

That is a PERFECT song for v-day..and I can't wait till I'm at that 'Chapel of love' with you one day, baby. :)

Here's another song that is V-day appropriate.. "Everything" By Lifehouse

Find me here, speak to me

I want to feel you, I need to hear you

You are the light that's leading me to the place

Where I find peace again

You are the strength that keeps me walking

You are the hope that keeps me trusting

You are the life to my soul

You are my purpose

You're everything

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this

You calm the storms and you give me rest

You hold me in your hands

You won't let me fall

You still my heart and you take my breath away

Would you take me in, take me deeper now

And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this

And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this

Cause you're all I want, you're all I need

You're everything, everything

You're all I want

You're all I need

You're everything, everything

You're all I want

You're all I need

You're everything, everything

You're all I want

You're all I need

Everything, everything

And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this

And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better any better than this

And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this

THAT is for you fuzzy.

Well I am going..have a great day ya'll. Talk to you later sweetie..you are VERY loved..by ME! I'll let you know how the presentation goes.

"Dreaming of the person you want to be is wasting the person you already are."

PS: I made an entry yesterday morning but this stupid thing said I didn't update..soo..check that out, if you wish to.

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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