In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

Song: Something by The Beatles

Ah..well..screw it. I'm gonna update now considering that I have a bit more time to myself to be on here, before miss evil kicks me off. Gosh, it's hotter than a biatch outside!!

Well, not much going on here lately. Yesterday was just one of those days. MORE drama going on around here. :( My dad's being a dick as usual and was talking shit about me to my mom saying that we both ignore him, no one talks to him, and "things have to change around here soon". He also said that I am always on the computer and need to get my ass up and get a job. Of course my mom agrees. *rolls eyes*

Why the heck should I acknowledge his presence when he has no respect for me OR my mom?? I am sorry but I am not going to respect someone that doesn't respect me. I'm also not going to bow down and kiss his ass either like he wants me to. No fricking way. That's not me at all. I don't get why he'd be so upset that i'm on the computer considering the fact that we never spent time together even BEFORE I got this computer three years ago.

He's just a selfish, moronic, miserable asshole. He also said we are all going to have a talk..riight. He'll NEVER confront anything..ok, he confronted her but he'll never confront the BOTH of us to talk to us. It's not even worth it to fight with him anyway, cos he's a piece of shit. So things will never get resolved. There's ALWAYS drama here. SO far, today has been an exception..SO FAR!! lol I feel a bit better from yesterday and realize I shouldn't have let it get to me like it did.

This is what I said to Nate last night about it..."I just feel like I'm losing me. When I was younger, sure I wasn't happy but I was better than now..maybe because I had no idea what was happening in my world. Now I smile less, I feel the pain more. I don't know why I was always in a rush to grow up..and now that I am growing up, I wish I had those happier years back. I don't know how much more I can stand of this..it's just waring me away emotionally. I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore."

Sad, but true. It's just a damn soap opera around here. The only good thing is me and Nate got to talk a LOT. :o) online & the phone, and I didn't go anywhere..so it was nice to relax. But I was just so upset and I let the frustration get the best of me. I just can't wait to get out of this shithole and when I do..there's no turning back. It will be one of the best days of my life.

I watched a bit more of Say Anything. It's such a good movie, but I VOW to finish it tonight. Lol. I got past the part where Lloyd is holding the boom box outside..awww!! =o)

Today has been SO much better..this morning I woke up..mom went out and got us Pancakes and Coffee from Mcdonalds..yummy!! We watched The Today Show with Celine Dion performing. God, she looks SO different. Then I showered, got dressed, came online for a bit, and left. We went to the store first to get me some essentials, and just ran some errands. I mentioned to her that I needed some shorts so we headed off to the mall.

The mall looks very different. They got rid of Payless Shoe store, and grr the chinese place I love. They are just renovating I guess. So instead of chinese for lunch, I had cajun. So, we went to Wet Seal and they had a sale "Buy one, get one free" So I got two shorts, and two tank tops. The shorts are real cute, and the tank tops..one is white and has HUGE pink/purplish lips on it..obviously a kiss..and another is GREEN [YAY!!] and says "Buddha palace" on it, and has a picture of Buddha and some Chinese writing. I love it because I took sone quizzes on emode.com that said I should learn about Buddhism and green is my fave color, so that's a given.

I was looking for Coldplay's newest CD "A rush of blood to the head" but it was fricking $19.99!! And their old one was expensive too. I'm going to price it in Best Buy and see how much it is. As much as I LOVE Coldplay, there's NO way I'm paying $19.99 for a CD.

Then, on the way home my mom got us some good cherry ices. Ohh..we played the lotto and picked out 6 #'s each. Ah..what I can do with THIRTY million dollars..lol.

When I got home, I watched some more of Say Anything and now here I am. The only bad thing about today is me and Nate won't get to talk due to him being at a meeting at the college, and then cooking dinner for his family. We will however, get to talk on Friday. :) But not on Saturday. GRR!! I've decided that I am going to start driving again on Saturday. I have to. Gosh, I hope it doesn't rain though. :/ Guess what? In exactly TWO months I'll be legal. *smiles*

Alright..well that's it. I updated my cast page, and better go because my mom's home. After I'm done, I am going to pop in the last half hour or so I have left of Say Anything, then listen to some music. So, enjoy the rest of the day ya'll!! Ohh..and here's some lyrics...

Fuzzy ...I hope your day is going great baby, and that all is well with your dad, and with your meeting at the college. I also hope the dinner with your family goes well. I MISS YOU SOooooooooooo MUCH, BABY!! I can't wait to talk to you tomorrow. Have a good night, honey..Sleep well. I Love You!!! (K)

_______________________________________

"For You"-Staind

To my mother, to my father,

It's your son or it's your daughter,

Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me?

Should I turn this up for you?

I sit locked inside my head

Remembering everything you've said

This silence gets us nowhere!

Gets us nowhere way too fast!

The silence is what kills me

I need someone here to help me

But you don't know how to listen

And let me make my decisions

'Cause I sit here locked

Inside my head remembering everything you've said

The silence gets us nowhere!

Gets us nowhere too fast!

All your insults and your curses make

Me feel like I'm not a person

And I feel like I am nothing but

You made me so do something

'Cause I'm fucked up because you are

Need attention, attention you couldn't give

I sit here locked inside my head

Remembering everything you've said

This silence get us nowhere!

Gets us nowhere way too fast

________________________________________

"The Young And Hopeless"-Good Charlotte

Hard day�s maybe hard nights shake me

I don�t know the song, I�m singing

And I know, I�m making something

Out of this, like they called nothing

I take what I want; I take what I need

They say its wrong, but its right for me

I won�t look down, won�t say I�m sorry

I know that only God can judge me

And if I make it through the day

Will tomorrow be the same?

Am I just running in place?

And if I stumble and I fall

Should I get up, and carry on?

Will it all just be the same?

Cos, I�m young and I am hopeless

I�m lost and un-noticed

I�m going no where fast that�s what they say

I�m troublesome, I�m fallen

I�m Adrian my father

It�s me against this world and I don�t care,

I don�t care!

And no one else can send us free

Understand the life I lead

When I sing about my past

It�s not a game, it�s not an act

Its critics and needs trust fund kids,

Tries to tells me what ball gives,

And when I see them all in this dream

I�ve nothing to say

And if I make it through the day

Will tomorrow be the same?

Am I just running in place?

And if I stumble and I fall

Should I get up, and carry on?

Will it all just be the same?

Cos, I�m young and I am hopeless

I�m lost and un-noticed

I�m going no where fast that�s what they say

I�m troublesome, I�m fallen

I�m Adrian my father

It�s me against this world and I don�t care,

I don�t care

I don�t care

No

I don�t care

I�m young and I am hopeless

I�m lost and un-noticed

I�m going no where fast that�s what they say

I�m troublesome, I�m fallen

I�m Adrian my father

It�s me against this world and I don�t care,

I don�t care

I don�t care!

I don�t care!

I don�t care!

________________________________________

"WHY DON'T YOU AND I" - Santana f/ Chad Kroeger:

Since the moment I spotted you, like walking round with little wings on my shoes,

My stomach's filled with the butterflies and it's alright.

Bouncing round from cloud to cloud, I got the feeling like I'm never going to come down,

If I said I didn't like it, then you know I'd lied.

Every time I try to talk to you, I get tongue-tied,

Turns out that everything I say to you comes out wrong and never comes out right.

So I'll say,

Why don't you and I get together and take on the world and be together forever,

Heads we will and tails we'll try again.

So I say,

Why don't you and I hold each other and fly to the moon and straight on to heaven,

Coz without you, they're never gonna let me in.

When's this ever going to break? I think I've handled more than any man can take,

I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around.

And it's alright, bouncing round from cloud to cloud,

I got the feeling like I'm never going to come down,

If said I didn't like it, then you know I'd lied.

Every time I try to talk to you, I get tongue-tied,

Seems like everything I say to you comes out wrong and never comes out right.

Chorus

And slowly I begin to realise this is never going to end,

Right about the same you walk by and I say, oh here we go again, oh.

Every time I try to talk to you, I get tongue-tied,

Turns out that everything I say to you comes out wrong and never comes out right.

Chorus x 2

_______________________________________

Coldplay- "The Scientist"

Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry

You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you, tell you I need ya

And tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions

Oh lets go back to the start

Running in circles, coming in tails

Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy

It's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures

Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science, science and progress

Do not speak as loud as my heart

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me

Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles, chasing tails

Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy

Oh it's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be so hard

I'm going back to the start

Ooooohhhhhhh [x4]

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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