Serious entry.
2003-07-12 - 10:04 a.m.
I feel...
Song: Hey luv-Mobb Deep & 112
Hi everybody. :) Before I start this off..here's the (late) Friday Five.
1. Do you remember your first best friend? Who was it? Yeah actually..it was my next door neighbor Michaelann. :) She was almost a year younger than me but we got along great.
2. Are you still in touch with this person? Nope..after I moved away, we lost touch.
3. Do you have a current close friend? I have a lot of close friends but my BEST friend in the entire universe is definitely, my Nathan. Ri Rove Rou!!
4. How did you become friends with this person? Well, we met through a web site. We started out as friends, not close friends, but friends. Then, of course we got together and became best friends. *sighs*
5. Is there a friend from your past that you wish you were still in contact with? Why? Many..mainly Jinna. We were best friends in fifth grade. We were completely inseperable. I would have done anything in the world for her. She just became like family to me. I miss her a lot, and wonder where she is in life, what she's doing, etc. I just hope she's happy.
Firstly, I finished Say Anything. It was a good movie except the ending sucked some dick..lol. It was a terrible ending. But I am so glad they ended up together. They were so cute. I guess true love does always come through in the end. :)
Awww..lately on TV they've been showing bunnies on TV in Miami. Yesterday AND this morning on the news they were talking about BUNNIES on the news, in Miami saying they are getting shot by sharp shooters because they attract turkey vultures who interfere with airplanes. GRRR..so these people are shooting bunnies. :( It was sooo sad to see. They said it took into effect on Thursday. God, that pissed me off SO much. I hate it when animals get sacrificed..ESPECIALLY bunnies, my kind. *cries* Then again, I'm a hypocrite because I DO eat Hamburgers, etc. :( argh. I don't know. I could never be a vegetarian though.
You know what show I've been getting into lately? Reba..it's really cute and funny. I don't like her music, because it's country but the show is great. She's a good actress. I was watching it last night.
Guess what?! I got Coldplay's New CD yesterday from Wal-Mart!! [A rush of Blood to the head]. It's really good, from what little I listened to it yesterday. I also got Good Charlotte's old one from 3 years ago. *smiles* They were both 9 dollars, so now I am down to 2 fricking dollars. Yep, I'm broke again but they were both worth it.
Anyway, I returned Say Anything yesterday. I hope to rent another movie this weekend. Me and mom got some lunch and shit..and were just talking about everything from Buddhism to peace and serenity. She's a great person to talk to at times. She's a LOT smarter than she appears. I love intellectual conversations and intelligent people. I am just drawn to them for some reason.
We also went to this bulk store called Costco yesterday. I got me some more Dr Pepper..24 cans..I'm going to be a HYPER bunny once again..lol. I LOVE Dr pepper. (: mmm. We went early, so we got taken care of quickly. We also went to the beach like an hour away. No, we didn't have our bathing suits on. We were just driving around talking, then we decided to get out our beach chairs and only sat there for a half hour because it was HOTTER than a mofo outside. Afterwards, we came home.
I talked to Nate for a while, till I had to go eat. We won't get to talk today. :o( He's going to be at a surprise party that his family is throwing for his dad's b-day, so we won't talk till tomorrow. God, am I going to miss him. I couldn't even get him off my mind yesterday. He's all I think about, no matter what. I honestly NEVER thought I'd find someone I am so compatible with, someone I can share myself with, someone that would love ME despite my flaws and idiosycrancies, but he does.
When I think of him my heart smiles. (: He soothes me, he helps me, he makes me a better person. I just feel on top of the world, it's the best feeling ever, it really is. Yesterday was just filled with positivity. I felt confident, everything went well, I couldn't get a smile off my face even if I tried. I wish everyday could be like that. Sure it had it's bad moments, but they didn't matter when looking at the bigger picture...this positive vibe I was sending out. I hope to keep sending it out.
I've decided not to let STUPID, petty crap bother me anymore. Like now more crap happening around here..my dad making empty threats saying he's going to leave and pack his bags soon "because my mom has 0 interest in anything, in the marriage, she doesn't have a job, and she's useless." Well..you know what..FUCK YOU dad..leave if you want, me and mom will make it just fine without you. I don't CARE anymore!! I just DON'T. We don't need him. It's not worth it to get myself upset when in the grand scheme of things I have SO much to look forward to in this life. I hope to really LIVE it.
Though my life is not at the point I want it to be right now, It WILL be one day. I'm going to make it, I'm going to survive, I'm going to be a success. I'm going to create the best life for myself and Nate. I am going to follow my heart, I'm going to take more risks and try new things. I'm going to say "I love you" more which is hard for me, considering past experiences and the fact that my family is not an "I love you" type of family. Screw that.
I'm going to smile more, I'm going to hang in there when times get rough, I'm going to have more confidence in me. I'm not going to let stupid things upset me, I'm not going to let what people say about me or their criticisms bring me down. I'm going to believe in myself, I'm going to do more for myself. Sure, these things take time and don't happen overnight but I have my whole life ahead of me to accomplish these things, and more. I have a whole life to learn about myself, to find myself and my purpose and to just not be scared anymore. All of This like I said, probably won't happen anytime soon..but it will..in time. :)
You know..I was reading some more about Buddhism last night. No, I am not going to change my religion to "Buddhism"..just the whole practice interests me. The enlightening process of it all. This is what it's about..showing people how to solve the problem of suffering due to wanting things. People need to learn how to give up their selfish desires in order to stop suffering. They can then reach state of peace and happiness, known as Nirvana. The way to achieve Nirvana is to follow the "Noble Eightfold path" of right belief, right aim, right speaking, right action, right occupation, right effort, right mindfulness, and right meditation."
It also talks about reincarnation and karma. It means that a person who lives a life full of cruelty and selfishness will have an even worse next life. But if a person leads a good life full of kidness and love, their next life will be better. The person that reaches Nirvana does not have to be reborn again. We should all live a life of love and compassion. We should all do for other people, but do for yourself too.
That's not the ONLY thing I believe in. I know some of you probably think I lost my mind lol..but I am just a very spiritual person. I don't believe we all need to stick to a certain religion. We can believe in whatever we want.
Well anywayy lol..I just took a shower, and shaved but I don't know what I am doing today. In a way, I'd like to get the hell out of here just to get away from my dad. *shivers* I don't know..but I WILL listen to those 2 Cd's I bought yesterday.
Before I leave...here's quiz results..
True Romantic-You're the kind of romantic to leave
pedals of roses leading from your front door to
your bedroom and covering the bed where you and
your lover would make love in the candlelight
What kind of romantic are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are the moon beautiful and mysterious in every
way. You ever changing just like the moon, but
loyal to the fact you will always be there.
Which makes you a true friend and an honest
person who knows what others need and you are
always willing to help. You believe strongly in
love and know your someone is out there
somewhere waiting for you making you also a big
dreamer. You can be lonely and depressed at
times but those hard times only make you
stronger and a better person. Hells yeah. :o) Exactly.
Are you the moon or the sun?
brought to you by Quizilla
Well folks..I gotta get dressed, and see what's going on for today. Have a GREAT saturday and weekend everybody!! *waves*
Honey ...I hope you have a great time at the surprise party today, and just have a spiffy day. You'll be on my mind alll day and I'll miss you so much, but we'll talk tomorrow. I love you to pieces. :)
PS: I know this is a serious entry. lol.
BLACK EYED PEAS LYRICS-feat Justin Timberlake
"Where Is The Love?"
What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Badness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how a n**** works and operates
N**, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love
It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With the ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin'
in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our own direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead in spreading love we spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive to lovers bound
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Past 5 memories...
Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31
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