In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

ONE more day!! Just one more! I seem to be holding up on the outside, but inside I am soooo excited..I feel like jumping around but on the other hand I am SO nervous!! The good kind of nervous though, the anticipation and waiting for something. Tomorrow is the big, biggggg day. I'll FINALLY get to spend two incredible weeks with someone I deeply love and care about. And there's NOTHING better than that. I've been waiting for this ever since the moment he left me in September. And now, three months later..this is it! It still feels so dream like. My stomach is in knots right now!!

Yesterday was ok..I felt like crying at some points. I had this talk with my mom and she said something like.."You know..I'm really proud of you, for someone that's been sheltered and been afraid of people, you've done well..traveling alone and meeting people and all.." But that's not what got to me. It got to me when she said that it's been great watching me grow up and she's wanted to be there every step of the way so it's hard for her to see me go, even for two weeks because she won't get to see things unfold and she just to this day, still wants to be there for me every step of the way. She's a great mom, no? Right now, even sitting here typing this I'm blubbering away like some baby. She feels I've come a long way. I just don't feel like I have though. It's not good to be sheltered cos then when you have to face things by yourself, you don't know what to do..you become panic stricken cos you are SO dependent upon that person. Fending for yourself is hard when someone else has constantly fended for you. But by doing that, you're getting sheilded and as hard as you try, you just can't put blinders on your kids.

When I was little, I had seperation anxiety..I couldn't even stand to be away from her cos she did so much for me and to this day, I know she'd do anything for me. This will be a true test though..if I can be away from her for even two weeks and be fine, then I can prolly make it ok on my own. We're both prolly making this out to be a huger deal than it is. Basically what my mom was saying is that she doesn't understand how parents can be so happy when their child leaves the house.

But yeah, that was a whole discussion onto itself. Anyway, so I got my eyebrows waxed yesterday. It didn't hurt too much cos I've had them waxed before. But what REALLY hurt is afterwards, she asked me if I want a lip waxing so I stupidly agreed..and OH MY GOD! The pain was EXCRUTIATING! It felt like she ripped my lips off. Afterwards, the areas around my mouth and eyes were of course red. We had lunch afterwards and it hurt to even eat cos the area around my mouth was super sensitive. NEVER get a lip waxing girls!!! That was a once and a lifetime experience for me.

I packed a lOT yesterday..i'm amazed at myself. All that is left to pack is some toiletries, and clothes that I am washing today. Then I am all finito. I bought magazines and chips for the plane and mom gave me money for the trip. Awww she's so sweet..she said if I'm ever in a jam with money, that I can call her up and she'll charge something on her credit card but only if it's a dire emergency. Obviously she doesn't want me having her credit card, which I can understand.

Besides last minute packing and doing laundry, I have to shave today. My legs are starting to get stubbly. God am I glad I wore pants yesterday or the girl would have asked me if I wanted a LEG waxing! lol. She was wax happy. Last night was nice and relaxing, I read a book which lulled me to sleep..mainly cos after reading the first thirty pages I realized that I had read the book before!! lol. I still have lots to read on the plane though. :) Hopefully i'll be able to sleep somewhat on the plane. Like I said, I KNOW I won't sleep tonight cos i'll be WAY over the top excited.

This is so hard to believe that it's my last update before I leave. It's hard to believe that I'm actually LEAVING!! I can't wait though! I am so antsy. I'm looking forward to everything. I talked to him yesterday and he said that they are waiting to decorate the x mas tree so we can all do it as a family. :) Awww, I am so lucky and blessed to be a part of that. A family that seems so supportive, warm, and welcoming. It will be nice to be around all of that love. It will be NICE to be around MY love..lol.

We're talking for the last time before I'm there today. Like I said, it's so hard to believe that TOMORROW I will be on a plane to Phoenix to see the love of my life. :) Life truly does have awesome surprises in store. I never thought I'd be in love at 18, much less travling to celebrate christmas with that person and his family. It's just simply amazing. His birthday is on friday!!! I'm very, very excited to celebrate his birthday with him.

As much as I'll miss my family (except for my dad) this will be good for me, I know it. I need to see my baby, I need to be with him again. Ugh, speaking of my dad..I have to say bye to him tonight. I'm sure it will be very nonchalant and awkward unlike the emotional goodbye me and my mom will most likely share. It'll be tough, but I'll make it just fine out there for those two weeks. I was lying in bed last night for a long time once again thinking about the trip. Thinking about how much closer together it's going to bring me and Nate and how it's only going to be great for us. Great times are on the way, I know it.

Well, I guess that's about it from me here for a while. I have lots to do today, and little time to do it in..I gotta go to bed early cos I have a BIG day ahead of me tomorrow, and a very early start. I will miss you all to the core of my being. I promise you lots of details, lots of pictures, lots of everything (lol). I will lurk around diaryland while I'm out there and I'm sure I will update a few times so it will prolly be like I'm not even away. But who knows..I'll be out having the time of my life with my bunny. ;) I'll try to write you guys as much as i can. :) IF I don't update before christmas, then I wish you all a very merry christmas!! And of course, the happiest new year that life can bring.

Enjoy the rest of your week, everyone. I love you all and thank you for your endless friendship, support, and encouragement. It means a lot to me. The next time I write, I'll be in AZ. :)

Bye bye..for now!!! *peace and love always*

-Stace

Bunny ...we'll talk soon! I missed you so much. :( BUT I won't have to miss you anymore cos I will be with you TOMORROW! I can't wait!!! I love you!!!!

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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