In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

Song: Baby boy by Sean Paul and Beyonce

Good mornin! The day has finally arrived, yay!! Today is me and Nate's 13 month anniversary!!! Aw, it puts me on cloud nine just thinking about it. We've beaten the odds, we've lasted longer than anyone thought we would, we're stronger than ever, overcomed everything, and he makes me the happiest girl alive!!! (K) And I know he will continue to for the rest of our lives. We have such a tight, strong bond and deep connection. I love him soooooooo very much, unconditionally, madly, deeply..and I will until the end of time. And I can't wait for the rest of our lives, sleeping in his arms every night, waking up to him every morning. It will literally be heaven on earth. He is the love of my life!

Well anyway, yesterday was okie I guess. It turns out that my mom has a viral infection so she is contagious. Wonderful! lol. Luckily I don't seem to be getting sick YET. All day basically, I listened to the rain..mmm the peaceful sound of it pitter pattering against the window. I tried to upload images onto my server, I actually TRIED to put my prom picture up but my stupid computer for some reason makes everything into an ART file, so I can't upload it..GRRR. It was so frustrating. The best part of the day of course, was talking to my baby. *purrs*

My mom's attitude was frustrating too. She did go out and buy chocolate, but I think it was for her, more than me. Everyone here is sooooo lazy. I decided to clean the kitchen last night, I mean it looks good and she didn't even care! I literally had to drag a 'thank you' out of her. I thought I'd be nice considering she has no strength for anything, but she didn't appreciate it. I was exhausted after it, and it just sucked to not get a thanks, that's all. She's not even going bowling tonight cos the doc said she should rest. Aww, me and Nate are talking on the phone tonight, well I hope. I looovee his voice, it gives me chills up and down my spine. Mmm it's so wonderful even if he doesn't think so. (K)

7th Heaven last night was very corny, it was sweet but oh so cheesy. I wish I had a perfect family like that. Ok, they aren't perfect..they've all done some whacked out things..and no family is perfect. But still it's kind of Brady Bunch-esque. Pfff. lol.

Haha my mom just walked up to me and asked me if I think she doesn't like me so I said "At times, yeah." But I told her about my paranoia at times and she said "I contribute this to the troubled teen years..teen angst." I just rolled my eyes as she walked away..lol. What a horrible cliche'. It's like her saying I'm a "typical teen."

I think I'm everything but typical. Anyway, several things occured to me yesterday..stuff I've never mentioned here for some reason..a little something about life too. First of all, I never explained the meaning behind this template. (I know, it's a bit late but better late than never, right?) This song.."I can't help falling in love with you" by Elvis Presley was interestingly enough, my parent's wedding song! This song means a lot to me, not even for that reason but it just touches my very soul. I really love the UB40 version, and since I am a person that values love over EVERYTHING, this template just stuck out.

Moving on..I do have trust issues, and that's because I was abused as a kid, and that's why I hate my dad so much, that, and many other reasons. I wasn't abused sexually, but emotionally and physically, I was teased a lot, so I never felt like I belonged and that leads me to the whole paranoia thing, also because I constantly hear my dad talking about me behind my back. I've just been through so much. I think it's time for me to let it all go, to push forward though. To put it all behind me. Eck, my mom wants to talk to me. This should be fun. *rolls eyes*

God, there was more I wanted to talk about but my brain is all mush. Before I get to the life thing, I missed the Gauntlet last night..grrr. Hopefully I'll see it on repeats. I'm excited because Real World is tonight as is the season finale of Newlyweds..I can't wait to see what new, dumb thing Jessica comes up with..lol.

Oh so, my mom was talking to me about my cousin Dawn yesterday. (Karen's twin sister). Basically, she dislikes Dawn because Dawn doesn't care about the family and Karen is more caring. I used to be close to Dawn so it's sad that she's become so withdrawn and distanced herself from everyone. I think we are two kindred spirits though because there's an undercurrent of sadness running through us both in a way, but she hides it better than I do.

Oh crap, I wanted to get to the life thing..but I can't because my mom wants to have a talk with me so I have to go. So maybe I'll edit later. God, I can't wait to talk to my bunny today!!! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HONEY!!!!! (K)(K)(K)(K)(K)(K)(K)(K)(K) You are my light in my darkest hour and I am so lucky, grateful, and blessed that you love me like you do, and I will forever love you too. Have a great Tuesday guys. *hugs*

"The only love I know, is the love we share, the love you show me; a love I never knew until you came into my life ... that I know is real."

EDIT: Me and mom had our talk..it was 'interesting.' I'll write all about it either later or tomorrow.

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

<< �� >>