In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

Song: Crazy for you-Madonna (sings along..LOL)

Hey! Grr, have I ever stressed how much Sundays blow? lol. First of all, my dad is off. *sighs* My mom sleeps in here, snoring her ass off, which means I have to be quiet when I type..IMPOSSIBLE for me since I usually pound on the keys when I am typing up entries..lol. Anyway...

Yesterday..hmmm..weirdness is all I can sum it up as. My mom is TRULY bi-polar. We got into a fight in the beginning of the day, a sort of 'mini drama' I guess you could say ending when she told me we need to have a talk. *rolls eyes* Which never gets anything accomplished. The gist of this is that I decided I wanted to stay home, and she and my aunt were gonna go out. She thought I chose to stay home cos I didn't feel well but when I told her the reason is cos I wanted to talk to Nate, 'shit hit the fan' basically. So, then she left and slammed the door all pissed off and shit.

Then later on she calls me up being all sweet on the phone. I'm sitting there going 'huh, weren't you just majorly pissed at me?' I guess she forgot about it..lol. She's a very odd lady. She nitpicks, and gets on my back about the most trivial crap in the world, and then when you talk to her it's like talking to a wall at times, when you explain yourself. Anyway, me and Nate talked for not such a long time...grrr, but at least we got to talk. Gah, the one thing I realized from talking to him is the jealousy factor hasn't gone away. I thought it would since we've been together for quite a while, but I guess it wouldn't be such an issue if we were together in person, because then I can see with my own eyes what's happening. It's mighty hard since he's miles and miles away YET I know I can trust him.

Where was I..so, me, my aunt, and mom went out last night for dinner. Oh wait, my dad ACTUALLY talked to me yesterday! He hasn't uttered a word to me in over a week..lol. All he basically did was ask how I am and shit..I KNOW there's a reason. I guarantee you some trouble is a brewing. I hate to be negative, but I know him and I know when he asks you things, he wants to get around you and he has some kind of motivation. So, we'll see what comes out of that. It's funny, he's such a bastard but he does get respected for that, mainly cos people are afraid of him, I think. I realized I am a very honest person yesterday. If you ask me what you think, I'll give you my honest opinion but I won't cut you down to size either. I think I'm tactful.

Anyway, so me, my aunt, and mom went to a seafood place. I am not much of a seafood fan but they had ribs there and chicken I was told. But guess what I ended up eating? Yep..SEAFOOD..lol. Very good food! Mmm! It was crowded there too. Oh, so I found out when my cousin Dawn is coming in..NEXT saturday!!! very soon. She wants me and my mom to go out to dinner with her and her boyfriend when they come in. I really don't feel like corresponding with her. My mom of course was a HUGE phony and was like "Ooh I can't wait to see my neice and sure we'll go out to dinner" and she's all gushing saying "It's been so long since we've seen her, this should be great!" and then when me and mom were in the car alone she said "Oh geez, I can careless about seeing her." LOL..soo two faced.

I think she did it because it's SO obvious that for the longest time Dawn was favored over my aunt's three kids cos she was the straight arrow, did well in school but she's just so quirky and eccentric. Nothing wrong with that, but Karen is the complete anthesis of Dawn. They are like night and day. Poor Karen got dissed because my aunt says she's not very knowledgeable but only has common sense. I think she says that because Karen never went to school and she gave her sooo much trouble and was so rebellious, but she has changed. My aunt just doesn't see it, or refuses to. It's sad, and that's why she's so insecure. It'll be interesting if the two of them (Karen and Dawn) see each other cos Karen feels soo shunned. I know the feeling.

Anyway, after eating we went to Walmart. It was perfect cuddling weather. :( COLD out, because of the breezes, dark, very rainy. mmm, I love it. My mom says that makes me morbid. *rolls eyes* I like it every once in a while. After walmart, we took my aunt home and then went home ourselves. I went to bed early once AGAIN cos there was nothing on TV. My mom is having someone from the cable company come here and fix what's going on with it. Thank the lord!!! Grrr, I hate these stupid dreams I get every night. Last night's was a recurring one.

Gah, I just hope my mom doesn't want to follow through on this talk. I think a part of it is just her jealousy of me and Nate because she's not happy. There's many factors behind her b/s. Another is the fact that I am not her little, good girl anymore. That I have made a choice and I guess that I don't listen and am not following through on the plan she has for me. I don't care what she thinks of me and Nate, I love him and nothing or no one can EVER change that or get in the way of our real, true, speshul love. Anyway, I've been listening to lots of music lately. Woo hoo!! Well, I'm gonna go so I don't have to eat with that moron, shower, and me and Nate are talking on the phone this morning. Here's a survey..enjoy the rest of your weekend ya'll!!!

Song that makes you happy:	King of wishful thinking-Go West
Song that makes you want to cry:	Tears in heaven-Eric Clapton
Song that makes you feel dreamy:	Imagine-John Lennon
Song that makes you sleepy:	As I lay me down to sleep-Sophie B Hawkins
Song that makes you want to dance:	This is the night-Amber
Song that makes you want to close your ears:	Blue-Eiffel 65
Song that makes you think of that special someone:	Underneath it all-No Doubt
Song that makes you feel relaxed:	End of the innocence-Don Henley
Song that makes you feel inspired:	Lose yourself-Eminem
Song that makes you want to sing along::	Free falling-Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Song That Makes You... brought to you by BZOINK!

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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