In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

Song: You're still the one-Shania Twain

Hey! I am officially back to updating, well at least for now. What am I doing up sooo early you ask? Well, Daylight Savings Time is messing with my poor head. :( Argh! I hate it because now at 6:30 in the morning it's so light out and it's supposed to be dark. I love how it gets darker earlier and DST is supposed to give you an EXTRA hour of sleep, but for yours truly it's making me LOSE sleep. So, I haven't slept much at all this entire weekend. AND yesterday seemed to be DRAGGING on and on and on..eck. I'm odd, it's well established...lol. (Grr, damn Marlins) thought I'd get that in there..lol. Nah, the yankees let the world series title slip from their hands, so good for the marlins I guess.

Well, I decided last night I didn't feel like sleeping the 'way' I usually do, for one, cos I took a shower, and also thinking maybe it would quell the odd dreams I have at night..but noooo, it didn't. Part of my dream involved THE COSBY KIDS..lol. Don't ask! And I haven't even watched it in a while. *shakes head* Another part involved my aunt and cousin, which is more understandable, and another part involved someone I used to be friends with. It was just tooo weird.

Soo..anyway...hmm on Saturday I didn't do too much. It was raining all day so the only place I went was out to dinner with my mom and aunt. Like I said, my mom was feeling pretty shitty that day so she didn't even want to go out to dinner. I kind of pressed it on her though because I got dressed, and looked all nice and I didn't want to do it for nothing and plus it might have done her some good to get out of the house. We somehow got into a screaming match because 'no one cooks around here' and she didn't want to go out in the rain and that I am and I quote 'only looking out for myself.' I got REALLY mad when she said that and she continued to tell me that I am a bad person..huh? So I mumbled "Shove it" which she heard so she didn't even say anything to me for an hour or so. But god, the woman pissed me off!

Anyway, my aunt did come to pick us up and we ended up going a restaurant near to what was my high school, that we get pizza from every Tuesday. We couldn't find the place at first because my mom was so disoriented and confused, and me, I've never actually been IN the restaurant. After about 15 mins of walking around in circles in the rain, we finally found it. The waitress ended up being someone I went to class with. So, after we ate, my aunt took us home and I went to bed early because I was kind of bored and tired. Hence, that was Saturday. No wait, that day I also noticed that the annual carnival is back. It looks kind of lame, but still I wanted me and Nate to go while he was here..argh! Oh well. :(

Oh wait..more for Saturday..my dad did something wrong again. Basically, my grandfather gave him some money when he was in NY and mainly it was to be put into the bank and some was to go to me. My mom asked my dad to give me some..he said "Why should I?" and he kept it all for himself and apparently spent it. But then he came home from shopping and he did have some money left over. My mom confronted him, so he had to give it up and that money is going into the bank. I somehow got cheated out of money here..oh well. Oh, and also of course me and my bunny talked online and I did those surveys and just chilled out because everyone was sleeping and stuff. I watched a bit of The Wedding Planner too. That night (saturday) I had more weird dreams.

Yesterday..is where I totally got screwed up with DST..in the morning especially. But anyway, this weekend I finally caught up on the shows I missed..The Gauntlet, Real World Paris, and Newlyweds. I showered, shaved, stuff like that and me and Nate talked on the phone for a while and then online. Of course, she was bitching around about mopping the floor and shit like that and just taking her cranky mood out on us. I won't go into full detail only because we are now getting along but I think I got my extreme mood swings from her.

So, after a while I had to stop talking to Nate cos we needed to order. I tried to get offline as quick as I can so she can call up and order but it apparently wasn't fast enough. I told her I was trying my best to sign off but this computer wasn't letting me so she told me to "GET LOST". wtf? So I said "Fine, gladly." Ugh, and then left the room. Then during dinner, well after dinner, she was talking to me again. Umm, ok? I AM trying my best to help out around here though. So, after dinner I watched The Wedding planner..yep, AGAIN lol and then went to bed after a little while and now here I am.

*Rubs out eye crust* Yeah, like you needed to know that..lol. I have plenty of time to update this morning cos of waking up so early so this is neat. Oh yeah, so my mom is feeling still crappy obviously. We were watching the 100 most shocking moments at one point yesterday on E and one of them was Freddie Prinze shooting himself so a little later on my mom said "I should do what Freddie Prinze did." That really scared me and made me sad all at the same time so I told her to NEVER, EVER speak like that again. God, I wouldn't even want to think about that. Just actually thinking about it now is making me upset.

Anyway, she was asking me a question like what doctor should she go to about her sickness and obviously I didn't know so she nearly broke down and said she wishes her mom (my grandma) could be around to give her advice and stuff. I didn't know what the heck to say..it's been two years since her death but you never get over a death of a parent. She's taken it well because she hides her emotions but yesterday was one of the first times that I actually saw that she does have feelings, even if she doesn't show them. How I do usually see her is a man obsessed lady..she ropes men in left and right..lol. I never had that with guys, guys barely knew I was alive when I was in school, but that's because I guess I wanted to remain unnoticed, just standing in the shadows.

I am actually starting to miss some people I was friends with in school. I wonder where everyone is now. I know I should give some people a call but a part of me is holding back for some reason. Anyway, the low will be in the 60's this week..it should be nice. I guess that's it from my end. I found out some family stuff but I will keep it to myself since it's personal. Have a great week, guys. And if you'd be so kind as to leaving me a note, or signing my g-book, I'd love you forever. *wink wink* lol. Before I go..here's a survey I did yesterday..*hugs and kisses*

General Information
State your full name.:	Stacey Beth...
Do you like your name?:	Eh, sort of.
If you could change it, would you, and to what?:	Vanessa.
Tell me your age.:	18.
Relationships/Love
What do you want your wedding to be like?:	I'm not sure..I want it to be in a beautiful place though.
Tell me the perfect setting for when you have sex.:	lol heh heh..candles..in a bed of course and that's it. I'm a simple girl.
Have you ever been in love?:	Yep, I am right now. :)
Are you in love?:	Yes!!!! =D
Your opinions
Rock music is..:	Amazing.
Pop music is..:	Ok.
Your thoughts on anarchy:	I'm not totally w/ the government but I'm not against it either.
Do you believe in God?:	Ehh..I'm still deciding.
Favorites
Type of music:	Alternative/Rock.
Band:	No Doubt.
Food:	Italian.
Thing to do:	Be online.
Thing to say:	"Hells yeah!" lol
Person to talk to:	Nate
Subject in school:	English
Parent:	Mom
Color, and why:	Green, color of nature.
Author:	George Orwell.
Book:	1984.
Candy:	Sourpatch Kids
Last, just random questions and things about you.
Do you like yourself?:	At times, yes.
What do you like about yourself?:	My personality.
What dont you like about yourself?:	My personality...lol.
Can you play any instruments?:	Flute.
Are you depressed?:	hmm..
Have you ever been suicidal?:	Yep.
Do you do drugs?:	No.
Do you drink alcohol?:	No.
Do you miss anyone right now? Who?:	Nate. :(
What do you want to do with your life?:	I'd like to be a writer, counselor/psychologist.
What's something you know you want to accomplish before you die?:	I want some of my poems to be published.
Do you think that I love you?:	Lol you don't know me.
You best, because I do.

About Yourself brought to you by BZOINK!

Song: Do you believe in us?-Jon Secada

Edit: My dad is in a shitty mood because no one around here pays any attention to him or talks to him or acknowledges him so I have a feeling this is gonna be a shitty ass week. *sighs*

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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