In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

Hi folks. Gosh, I am freezing my freaking ass off! Who knew that in FL it could be THIS cold?? I had a very strange night..sleeping wise and was so restless. :( It was bitterly cold in my room and downstairs it's not any better. You know what I think I'm going to do..have some hot chocolate. Mmm!!

Well, life is funny..in the sense that things never turn out the way you think they are going to turn out. Have you noticed that something you think will turn out bad usually turns out better than you think..and the thing you anticipate turning out well turns out to be complete shit? Well, the latter was my day yesterday. I must have ESP because guess what...some shit went down yesterday.

I managed to talk to Nate for around an hour or so yesterday morning..then we went out to my aunt's and all was fine..til my mom saw smoke coming out of the engine of her car. Sooo my aunt told her it seems like she has an antifreeze leak and my aunt tried to clean it up and she followed us to the mechanics.

They told her that she needs a new radiator but for now they put a stop leak on it. However, it wouldn't be smart of her to drive around anywhere because she could get stuck and the thermostat might go too. You don't even want to know how much a new radiator will cost. Let's just say that if my dad finds out about it..he's going to hit the roof. But hey, she needs to preserve her car. It's up there in mileage so she's trying to baby it.

After that, we went out to lunch in my aunt's car. Then we went over to the bowling alley..bowling wasn't that great because it was SO crowded and the games just seemed so rushed. I didn't bowl my best either..my mind was just elsewhere as it usually is.

From there we went to walmart, then k-mart where I bought the Maroon 5 Cd. I can't wait to listen to it!! I think their an awesome band. I still have to listen to those other 2 cd's too. Then we went out to dinner..which was also hella crowded and then to the mall for a bit..came home, talked to Nate on the phone, and that was my day. *sigh*

Oh yeah..I looked everywhere for A walk to Remember..couldn't find it. :( I think I might do what Sarah said and get it through e-bay. I see the DVD version everywhere but not the VHS version.

Well, my dad is off today so I'm anticipating today to be one of those crappy ones. Plus we can't go anywhere so I'll be staying home all day. Fun, fun, huh?? I'm expecting drama in some way, shape, or form. I can't stand life sometimes. Sometimes I wonder how nice it would be to just sleep forever. I know..I seem to whine a lot..I even annoy myself sometimes. I'm so hard on myself all of the time though. I guess I figure that if I'm hard on myself..I won't give people a chance to put me down. I feel like I was taking on an attitude all day. Why do I make it so hard for people to love me?? I can go on and on about my faults, but I won't. This self pitying thing needs to stop. Somehow.

I don't feel so great right now..I still feel so empty and so damn lonely. I thought I was doing better but I cried a little bit last night. Yes, I'm emotional..when something goes wrong I get all worked up and 'dramatic' if you will. I think it's better to cry than to hurl something across a room. Don't you think?? I wish I could have ONE day out of my life where everything goes just fine..where I feel just fine..where no one is bickering. At this point, I don't even want to feel or think anything..thinking and feeling anything is dangerous..well for me.

I was going to write an entry about reaching the 500 mark and New Years Resolutions but I just don't feel like it. I feel so 'blah.' Next entry I'll prolly babble about that stuff. Ugh, my stupid hands feel so frozen. I need a shower but I feel too cold to even walk into the shower at this point..lol.

On a different note..does anyone have an idea of what I can add in the 'etc' box?? It needs more added to it. It doesn't feel 'finished.' or complete. Ha, I can relate.

I'm going to go..gotta hand over the computer. I promised my mom. Enjoy the rest of your weekend's!!

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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