In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

Song: Something by The Beatles

Hey guys! I really can't make this terribly long because I need to eat something really SOON and get the hell out of here because my mom is in one of her moods. *rolls eyes*

Ever since the minute I stepped into the room, and logged online she woke up and started cussing me out, and then the cat umm..upchucked..lol..and we fought over who would clean it up..of course SHE won and I cleaned it, and she CRITICIZED how I cleaned it and I told her it was too early to be cleaning and she said "Well, it's not too early for you to be on the computer." Then she just started babbling and told me to fuck off! That's what I get for trying to help out so I told her to go finish cleaning it herself! Hmph. God, I just want to be farrrr away from here..very, very far. Everyone in this house is seriously getting on my last nerve..including the cats..ughhhh. I just need to get away, away from these people, away from everything. God, everything I do gets scrutinized..maybe that's why I get performance anxiety and don't do well under pressure when I Know people are watching me..I do better when I'm alone, and no one's studying my every move. I lose confidence when I know someone's watching what I do, and it makes me want to do it perfectly but I just end up screwing it up..I don't know. I just feel sometimes that whatever I do isn't good enough. I don't even get why I bothered..or bother at times..I just made it all worse.

Ugh, if this is the way the week is going to go..I shouldn't have woken up. The weekend in itself wasn't too bad. My mom handed me a bracelet that my aunt got me from NY..it's really purdy. =D They all went out bowling (they being my family) and had fun. Me and Nate talked quite a bit..got into a fight, but it's all behind us now. =D

I watched Save the last dance and The Breakfast Club last night and listened to music. Surprisingly NO drama over the weekend and this week JUST started and already, there's drama. *sighs* What else happened yesterday..ehh nothing much..I was home alone for a lot of the day, so that was nice. More great TV this week..woo hoo!! 7th heaven, Wade Robson, and The Gauntlet tonight. Oh yeah, I looked through the classifids last night for a job, but none of the positions I am qualified for..gah! looking for a job is work in itself..but after having a long conversation with Nate about it, I know I need to keep looking for one. I don't know what I'd do without him pushing me, and motivating me and just making me feel good about me. I love you, fuzzy!!!!

There were certain things I noticed about myself over the weekend..particularly yesterday that I am not too fond of that I definitely need to work on, but I certainly will. Besides that, and the drama that's going to occur this week, not much is going on. This week is finals week for Nate..my poor sweetie is gonna be soooo busy. :( But he knows I am here for him during this stressful time, I just wish I could be there in person. *SIGHS* Well guys, Have a great week!!!

I heard a song last night that sums up, pretty accurately how I am feeling right now..so here it is..."Here without you"- 3 Doors Down

A hundred days had made me older

Since the last time that I saw your pretty face

A thousand lights had made me colder

And I don�t think I can look at this the same

But all the miles had separate

They disappeared now when I�m dreaming of your face

I�m here without you baby but you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I�m here without you baby but you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight it�s only you and me

The miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello

I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go

I�m here without you baby but you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I�m here without you baby but you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight it�s only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go

It gets hard but it won�t take away my love

And when the last one falls, when it�s all said and done

It gets hard but it won�t take away my love

I�m here without you baby but you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I�m here without you baby but you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight it�s only you and me

I�m here without you baby but you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I�m here without you baby but you're still with me in my dreams

But tonight it�s only you and me

EDIT @ 10:10 AM: My dad's going to the beach..they nearly got into a fight b/c my dad overheard something that wasn't meant for him to hear when my mom was on the phone w/ my aunt..ha. Oh, and my mom apologized.

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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