In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

Song: Everytime I close my eyes by Babyface

Hello ya'll. Good mornin'. *big yawn* So anyway, yours truly ACTUALLY went out yesterday..yep, you read that correctly..lol.

Me and mom went to the beach. I normally love going there but I just wasn't in the mood because of the way she was being toward me. I agreed cos I KNEW she'd give me hell if I said no. Oh, so let me elaborate more about what my dad overheard on the phone...

My mom was on the phone with my aunt, and my aunt said she was going to the beach with her husband, her husband's son and his little girl and she asked my aunt what beach she was going to and my mom said she asked because she doesn't want my aunt and my dad at the same beach because my dad HATES my aunt's husband and is not fond of my aunt either..there's a looong story behind that. I think I wrote about it before, so I won't again..but anyway..my dad heard that and misunderstood what she said completely. So he questioned her and she said he just heard wrong. He was NOT supposed to hear that..lol.

My mom at first, didn't want to go to the beach because of her face but she said she didn't want to sit around all day and would just put a lot of stuff on her face. OF COURSE all day she would struggle with what she is going to tell my dad, because obviously he's going to get pissed if he finds out WE went to the beach when my mom told him she didn't want to go. *rolls eyes*

So, basically my mom was in a mood most of the day, first of all cos I told her I wanted to talk to Nate for at LEAST an hour, so we ended up starting out late but I would have been PISSED if I didn't get to talk to Nate. So, we got ready, we left and my mom ended up unloading alll her frustrations on me, about life, about my dad, my aunt's husband, and just venting. I didn't even feel like hearing it so I basically said "yep" a lot, and nodded. She's all talk, and no action basically.

I really don't know how much longer I can live like this because I am just not happy. It's as simple as that. I have good days here and there but overall I just don't want to be here anymore, like I said last entry. But anyway, there were some complications getting there, but we finally did and it was very nice..peaceful..sunny, the sand wasn't too hot, it was breezy and the waves were HIGH. The beach is probably the place where I feel the most serene. There were some umm..odd people there, lots of couples...grrr, and lots of college kids and younger kids..I think it was their day off.

Ugh, when I saw those couples my mind immediately jumped to Nate. That should have been us in September but the stupid weather had other plans for us. :( So, I kind of frowned when seeing it. Just another reminder of just how MUCH I miss Nate, and how much I wish he could be here. :(

We left after a couple of hours..but god, was it great besides a bit of bickering. I could see all my cares just going in the waves..ahh..but then I KNEW I'd have to shift back to reality later on. *sighs* We came home, my dad of course asked where we went. All I said was "We went out." Heh. I read my magazine, came online..wrote you guys, wrote Nate, watched TV, ate dinner..then I watched 7th Heaven, listened to the radio and fell asleep before The Gauntlet came on. :( The sun just knocked me out really. I am mad cos I missed The Wade Robson Project..grr!! Oh well.

So, anyway that was it for yesterday. God, how come I NEVER have a normal dream?? lol. MORE odd ones last night. Luckily, I don't have to worry about my dad eating breakfast with us because he has to fast right now cos he has a physical this morning, so he can't eat. I LOVE Tuesdays because as you all know, I get the computer tonight, and Real World. =D I think I'm getting it Thursday night b/c my mom has a presentation.

But anyway, besides the beach yesterday could have been better. Of course, I had the job crap slinged at me but I AM looking. She was just in a pissy ass mood all day and decided to take it out on me, basically. I hope today won't be like that. I have to take a shower after I eat, get dressed, then come online to talk to Nate (hopefully for longer than an hour). Ugh, I hope she doesn't have anything in the works for this morning. :/

Well, I am going to go. I am kind of in a 'blah' mood. I think I am going to listen to Coldplay this morning..it usually helps my mood out, and I am sure talking to Nate will help too.

Have a great Tuesday everybody. Ciao!

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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