In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

Song: Wherever you will go by The Calling

Hey guys! Well, yesterday wasn't too bad..except for one thing of course. This morning is not starting out too well though. This computer is being a pain, as is my mom. HELP! Ugh. Life is just so fucking routine and frustrating for me. *sighs* Nothing seems to be going my way at ALL. All I get is this enormous amount of pressure being placed upon me and I just don't know what to do about it. I know I'll never live up to expectations my family has of me.

My dad, as you all know went for a physical yesterday. Well, he got some bad news about his health. Basically he has a problem with high blood pressure and several other things. He's obviously depressed about it, and a bit scared so of course he's taking it out on everyone.

I heard him talking to my mom about what's going on and then I heard him whispering to her and I just KNEW he was talking about me. So I asked her and she told me that he said that I am a big, big problem and the cause of his high blood pressure. *rolls eyes* He doesn't know it, but I am sure he also has a problem with high cholesterol cos he eats all kinds of crap. So, I see..it's MY fault that he has high blood pressure..riight. I don't understand why he can't place the blame upon himself for various things. His job is giving him high blood pressure, if anything. God, was I mad when I heard that.

I was expecting a confrontation but miraculously, none occured. I know that's only for now, and I am sure before he leaves for New York this weekend, he's going to talk to me. I think the main reason of why he didn't say anything to me was I didn't give him a chance to..lol. As a means for escape, I asked my mom if she wanted to go to the park because it was a BEAUTIFUL day out..a bit breezy, sunny, not too humid..so she said she wanted to go.

It was really nice in the park. I brought my headphones along so I listened to music and just sat there and nearly fell asleep--THAT'S how relaxing it was. My mom read over material for her presentation tomorrow. She's going to read some more today--oh, AND I get the computer again tonight. :) *smiles big* cos she has to go to a meeting.

But anyway, Me and Nate got to talk for more than one hour so I was very happy about that. =D God, I couldn't get him off my mind at all. Of course, there was a couple in the park..a Japanese one. They sat in front of a tree and the guy had his arms around the woman..I actually said "AWW" out loud, though I was secretly wishing that could be me and Nate. *snarls* Geezus, I am such a romantic..lol. I just missed him TERRIBLY. :( I couldn't get him off my mind at all. I need him so badly. I miss his touch, his embrace, his kiss..everything..just HIM in general. It's SO hard to face right now, but soon we'll be together again. :) and then it will be just us again, taking on the world!

Anyway, besides the park that's all I really did. We had dinner, then I stayed online till around 9..just sifting through e-mails and reading updates, taking quizzes, and writing people and stuff. I fell asleep through half of Real World. :( God, I was more tired than I thought. Of course, I missed the usual shows I watch but oh well. I heard my mom coming home, making a commotion and freaking out cos she thought she lost her car keys. She finally found them. She just told me all about it..heh. I swear, she is such a ditz sometimes..lol. Well anyway, hmm I am thinking about getting reviewed. I haven't in ages, and I am curious to see what people think of my diary..maybe I'd be better off not knowing though..heh. I'll see. I know my writing has gone to crap lately, but oh well..I feel like I have writer's block or something. Hopefully it will go away soon.

Whew, it's hump day..the week is half over..thank the lord! ha. Oh yeah, I still watch those inspirational shows and yesterday's message was really interesting..as they usually are. But anyway, I just hope my dad doesn't want to talk to me today. *sighs* I just want a good day for once. Not an "Ok" day, but a GOOD one dammit..lol. I'm really glad that tonight is BACHELOR night though. =D Oh, and if you're wondering..yeah, more insane in the membrane dreams..lol.

Well before I go..here's quiz results..

Your Real World/Road Rules Stereotype is: The Good
One. You are a very innocent person who has
limited experience in the world. You hate
confrontation.

(With Many Pic Results!) Which Real World/ Road Ruler would you be portrayed as?
brought to you by Quizilla

Teacher

You are smart and enjoy spreading your knowledge to
those around you.

What is the ULTIMATE job for you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Nightingale... you are in love, good luck

What saves the day song are you
brought to you by Quizilla

Swiss. Your swiss cheese. Strong and holy and
misunderstood. You don't go well with other
cheeses, and prefer to have the sandwhich all
to yourself. I also happen to be swiss cheese.
So that makes you the coolest cheese. Go You!

What Kind Of Cheese Are You ?
brought to you by Quizilla

Bye guys..have a great Wednesday! *kisses*

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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