In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

Song: Three times a lady by Lionel Richie

Hello..I hope ya'll are all having a great weekend! Mine has been so-so. Gah, the weekend is going soo fast, or is it my imagination? Before I ramble for a bit..here's the Saturday 8 ...

1. To be humble you first have to have pride. Of what are you particularly proud?

Oh wow..I am proud of a person. And that would definitely of course, have to be of my bunny, the love of my life..I truly am. In terms of personal achievements of mine, I can honestly say I'd like to have more before I can tell you what I am proud of. In terms of my strengths in general, I am most proud of my writing abilities, of my listening abilities, of my abilities to help people and touch lives.

2. Do you downgrade your ability or talent in order to receive compliments or praise? In other words, are you like the pianist who sits down at the piano claiming, "I only tinker a bit" before proceeding to play a Chopin Masterpiece flawlessly?

lol..I do downplay myself a whole lot, though at times I feel I have a reason to. At other times, it's unjust so I'd say half and half on this one.

3. Are you living up to your potential or do you find yourself regretting past choices? If so, what would/could you do different?

I really don't feel like I am all that I can be, or doing all that I can..I know I have unexplored potential, that I have yet to tap into but don't we all? There are certain things that at the time felt like the 'right' thing to do, and now I've grown up in sorts so all I can do is move forward, see what I did, and keep doing what feels right to me, which is why regrets are pointless because you CAN'T change anything and if given the chance, we'd probably all repeat past mistakes.

4. What if a stranger approached you claiming to be God? How would you react?

lol..I am gullible but not THAT gullible.

5. Suppose you believe this person. What if this person now told you do something innocuous, such as buying flowers from a nearby vender, park in a particular parking space or go someplace at a particular time? Would you do it?

Why would I believe this person in the first place?? Unless I got some concrete, good, solid proof.

6. Suppose you still believe this person. What if they now asked you to do something you considered wrong, such as lying to someone you respect, skipping an obligation or buying a gun? Would you do it?

I wouldn't do any of those things, and it doesn't matter who would ask me to. I am not going to compromise my beliefs for anyone else.

7. Do you believe such a system of events really happen because of our own decisions or do they happen as they have been preordained? In other words, do you believe in free will?

I talked about this last entry ..I believe certain events are pre-destined, but certain things we have a choice, or control over. Everyone has choices, but yet everything happens for a reason so I believe fate and destiny and free will are all interwoven.

8. Simply put, do you believe in God?

This is an extremely complicated question for me, really. I waiver constantly back and forth between one thing and the next.

Well anyway, yesterday was not the big, exciting day I thought it would turn out to be which is kind of good, I guess. I did get to talk to Nate for a couple of hours in the morning, but that's as far as that went. :( I am GLAD I typed out the script for him, cos he needs it. So anyway, The Marlins won yesterday..woopie..big shit! GO Yankees!! lol. I KNOW my baby is sitting there hissing right now..haha.

So basically, we went out for dinner last night to this Ribs place that me, my mom, and Nate went to on the night we met..mmm good food!! =D I was STARVING and nearly cleaned off my plate..lol. Then, we went out to a store and I got some shampoo, conditioner..shtuff I needed, and that was IT. lol. Exciting, huh? Well, I asked my mom if she wanted to go to the mall but she was really tired so she wanted to sleep instead.

Guess what? My dad is off till TUESDAY. Ugh!! :( BUT he's going to NY next weekend. *smiles* Drama will be lurking soon, guaranteed. If not today, then prolly tomorrow. I am looking forward to it..*rolls eyes*..NOT!! haha. He was being all sweet, so I know that was just the calm before the inevitable storm that always occurs. It was soo boring at dinner though, I was wishing Nate was much..I just wanted to cry at some points. My dad has nothing of relevance or intelligence to bring to a conversation, my mom was all zonked out, and of course my head was in the clouds where it is usually located..lol.

Well anyway, I saw last week's Real World..well half of it till Hitler (my dad) dragged us out of the house.. GRR! I hate when I can't finish watching something!! Then, when we came home, I watched 'Drive me crazy' for the billionth time. It's kinda teeny-bopperish but I still love that movie..lol. =D

My mom enjoyed her meeting yesterday, so that was really cool for her. :) I think I might have the computer for one or two nights this coming week so I'm happy about that.

That was really it for yesterday. So, just another day in my mundane life. There's something on my mind (nothing deep really) I want to talk about for a bit, and then I will conclude this entry...

I don't understand it, but I feel this constant need to prove myself to other people. I think it's cos I am not comfortable in my own skin and secure with who I am. I'm not saying that I am someone I am not, I am saying that I don't allow things about me to speak for themselves, it's not a subtlty with me, I just am constantly out to show people that I am not who they think I am..and it's really so stupid and pointless.

I really need to stop doing it, because it just is a show, a show I am sick of acting in, a facade I am sick of putting up. I shouldn't even care what people think of me, yet I do. I know we all do, but I take it above and beyond anything else. That could be why I am a very shy person..because I'm just afraid if I say something stupid, or do something stupid I'll get judged. I'm just not really comfortable with ME. I've never been an attention getter, I've always been a person that is content to be in the background, content to not get the spotlight, the 'wallflower' really, and I just can't be this way my entire life. It really just makes people think I am cold or that I don't like them, but that's not the way it is at all. People are always going to think stuff..you can't change it..but you can just be you, and just associate with people that will love you, for YOU. I should just let people think what they want of me, or else I'll be miserable.

This distancing thing I do..all it does is push people out of my life, and then I wonder at times why I am lonely..heh..well doh Stacey..I am only isolating myself really from great experiences and great people. I need to put an end to caring what people think and just do what I feel like doing, when I feel like it no matter what. I just..in other words..want to be myself more and stop trying to broadcast what's good about me, and just let it shine through my soul. This is something I will need to be working on.

Well, my mom is up..I want to eat so I don't have to see my dad at breakfast..ah shit, gotta wait for my mom to get us brkfast. Me and Nate are talking today, hopefully for a MUCH longer time. :) My mom will be with my aunt, and cousin so that won't be a prob. Take care guys and enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Much love,

Stace

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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