In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

Song: I'll do it for love by Hall and Oates

Hey everyone! I hope you had a great weekend! From reading, I can tell that some of you did, and for that I'm glad. I have a VERY busy, hectic week ahead of me..here's what I'm supposed to do..

Today after my mom finishes eating breakfast and getting her nails done by my cousin, she's going to come by and pick me up and we're going to the mall. I am going to get Pj's and shorts, and try to look for some more candles for my room.

Tomorrow the carpet cleaners are coming by..and Wednesday someone is coming to fix our Washing Machine. Besides that stuff, I have some last minute cleaning to do..actually I still have to help my mom with some stuff. This room actually looks decent! :) The sheet fits..we put it on yesterday..the pillows look good on it. We put together the TV stand! Usually when my mom assembles things I just sit by, all bored but this time we worked as a team and helped each other. It looks pretty good, and we put the TV on it. The TV rocks!! I love it. It's so cool how I can be online now and watch TV at the same time. :) Then besides the cleaning I have to finish, I need to make an appointment to get my eyebrows done. So yep, LOTS going on. I got around to shaving and showering yesterday, so that was good. :o)

I feel better physically..emotionally and mentally I am just a train wreck waiting to happen. :( I don't have chills anymore but when you feel like shit inside, it just carries over into everything. Ah..school starts today in Broward and Dade counties..poor kids. :(

I think my daily ritual now is to lye down at night, with my walkman on singing..lol..cos that's what I seem to be doing every night. I can live on music..lol. I just ALWAYS have to listen to it, or I go nuts. *shrugs* Music just puts my life into perspective. Love, Music, and Sunsets. That's what life's all about for me. Anyway...

I think it's time for some more poetry so when I get back from the mall, I am going to sit down and try to write something. I only seem to write poetry either when I'm feeling head over heels in love, or when I am in one of those moods. It's always one extreme or the other. I just..I don't know..I really feel lonely. I love you guys, don't get me wrong. My mom's amazing at times too. The last time I talked to Nate was Saturday and I was really touchy about something..*I won't get into what it's about*..but yeah, we haven't talked since and..I really miss him. A lot. :( We won't even get to talk till tomorrow unfortunately cos he's very busy. My heart just feels sick. :( I feel like it's a little broken, and it hurts like a bitch. I feel incomplete. I feel like I'm losing parts of myself, parts he has filled in and this hurt is the worst kind of hurting a person can feel.

That's why I don't feel right probably and am depressed. But who knows. I'm very vulnerable right now for some reason. I feel like my heart is an open door for all to see, sure it's scary but that's ok. I am just in a lot of emotional pain, but I will rise above this pain. I know it. I was watching some Inspirational stuff last night. A woman was preaching saying that we can't let our emotions control us and rule our lives, and we need to have discipline and we shouldn't always follow our emotions. We need to do what's right rather than do what we FEEL is right. We need to manage our emotions better. If you let your feelings guide everything you do, you're going to have a horrible life. Sooo true! Then some guy was preaching about self-image and everything he said really hit home. He said "Don't be a chicken..be an eagle." :) Empowering as hell.

Well, I am going to end this for now. I will be back hopefully after the mall. For now, I have to get dressed. Well, my aching heart will keep beating and I'll be ok. Thanks for your concern everybody. You all have different things to offer this world, and they are all beautiful things so go out there and make the most of what you have in this life, and use your gifts to their fullest capacity..till next time..rock on.

"Love is when the sun rises and never sets."

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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