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Diaryland
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In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

words (c) Stacey

Sucky day, but oddly I can't talk about it...
2003-11-22 - 6:21 a.m.

I feel...
The current mood of thebunny4ever at www.imood.com

Hey..before I start this entry I just want to wish a very special girl Lisaanne a VERY, very Happy Birthday!!! I luff her! She's awesome and betters the lives of the people that she knows. :-) There's not enough great things to say about her, but I wish her lots and lots of happiness and wish her a very memorable birthday!!! *hugs*

Well, yesterday SUCKED. With a capital "S." It was a horrible, long day and I couldn't wait for it to end. The part that wasn't too bad was going out with my mom, and aunt last night for ice cream. I needed some chocolate. good shtuff! I found out last night that we ARE going over to Sheila's for thanksgiving and that Karen is coming over, but she's bringing Dave. They are having some issues right now and I know that she was rather, well not too happy with him yesterday. She's such a great girl and unfortunately, she just has the worst luck ever in all aspects.

Because of how great she's been to the family, this weekend my mom and aunt are going to buy her christmas gifts. She's a little short on cash so what she said she wanted, that's what they are getting her. I'd like to get her something too, but I can't spend much. I plan on, and want to spend a good amount of my leftover b-day money on Nate's gifts. My mom said she's getting me a christmas gift, but doesn't know what I want. It's not THAT hard to figure out..lol. Since when did we celebrate christmas though I am wondering? heh. We don't even celebrate hanukah!

Unfortunately, I have to get ready really soon so this entry can't be TOO long. We're all going out for breakfast, and then after that I have no clue. I think mom wants to shop around for a new computer, but I'm not so sure yet. This thing disconnected me at least 5 times yesterday. I can't stand it and anymore and it's problems. It was so weird hanging out with my aunt last night without having Dawn and Tom there. :( I do miss them.

I saw Oprah yesterday again and Bob, Estella, And Kelly Jo were on it. They are ALL over the place! lol Them and Michael Jackson are there, everywhere you turn..it's just so strange. Anyway, I'm going out with them all cos for one, I do need to get out of here and take my mind off stuff, and also cos she got kind of annoyed that I didn't go out with her and Karen yesterday and I know that this time, we WILL have a fight if I don't go.

But anyway, I am just really depressed right now. I'm not sure I can say that I feel lonely, but I do feel this void..this emptiness in me like right now nothing is making me smile or laugh or anything. I just feel..numb. I feel nothing. There's a definite reason but I really don't even want to talk about it. My mom could just TELL that something was different in me last night but we didn't talk about it. I can't tell her EVERYTHING that goes on.

I feel physically somewhat better, but emotionally just dead like I said. If it's not one thing, it's always another. I'd honestly rather have the physical stuff than the emotional mess I am in. I don't want to put up this front like I'm all happy when I'm not. The nightmares I was having last night just clarified how I am feeling. It put things into perspective.

I don't even think my family can get me to snap out of this. Something did happen to bring this all on--I mean, I am not feeling this way for no reason at all. I just..can't talk about it right now. I can't bring myself to. I don't know if it's cos I am tired and can't get words out, or if it's cos I am emotionally shutting down. I did a SUPER LONG survey yesterday in the morning out of boredom so I will put that up now. I can't even get good words out that I want to say. I'm sorry that I am not articulate this morning but I feel so just--braindead. Hopefully tomorrow a better entry will come along. I hope you guys have a great weekend, I am sure it will be better than mine. You can call last week for me--"the week of hell." Take care everyone. *hugs*

You
What is your full name::Stacey Beth
Spell your first name backwards::Yecats
Date of birth::9/10/85
Male or female::female.
Astrological sign::virgo.
Nicknames::stace, stace-away, roonatic, bunny, etc.
Occupation::nothing at the moment.
Height::5'6-5'7"
Weight::130-135
Hair color::chestnut brown.
Eye color::brown.
Where were you born::Brooklyn, New York.
Where do you reside now::South Fla.
Age::18.
Screen names::Tommygrl1229.
E-mail addy::[email protected].
What does your screen name stand for::tommy cos I used to be obsessed with Tommy Hilfiger clothes, and tommy perfume. Grl= i'm a chick..and 1229 is the time I was born, 12:29.
What is your greatestjournal name::huh?
What does your greatestjournal name stand for::....
Pets::2 cats-Zoey & Pumpkin.
Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake::18.
Piercings::none.
Tattoo's::none.
Shoe size::9.
Righty or lefty::Lefty.
Wearing::orange tee and jeans.
Hearing::Nothing.
Feeling::horrible, in many ways.
Eating/drinking::I'm eating an ice.
Guys/Girls/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff
Have you ever been in love::Yeah. I am now.
How many people have you said:have I said what?
How many people have you been in REAL love with::Just the person I am with now.
How many people have you kissed::2.
Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex::nope.
How many people have you dated::1. I've been in relationships, but didn't "Date" them before my current relationship.
What do you look for in a guy/girl::I'm not looking for anyone.
What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex::eyes.
What type of guy/girl do you usually go for::The one I am with.
Do you have a crush right now::No.
If so who is it::
Do you believe in love at first sight::Nope, I think that's lust.
Do you remember your first love::Yes, unfortunately. I'd love to just put it out of my mind.
Who is the first person you kissed::Robert..eck. I don't know what I was thinking.
Do you believe in fate::Whole heartedly. :)
Do you believe in soul mates::Yesh.
If so do you believe you'll ever find yours::I have already.
Family Stuff
How many siblings do you have::0.
What are your siblings names::n/a.
What are your parents names::Eileen & Steve.
How many siblings does your mother have::2.
How many siblings does your father have::2.
Where are your parents from::New York.
Is your family close::my mom's side of the family= yes. My dad's side = no.
Does your family get together for holidays::some of my family does, the people that live close together.
Do you have a drunk uncle::lol no.
Any medical problems run through your family::yep.
Does someone in your family wear a toupee::Wtf? lol yes.
Do you have any nieces or nephews::nope. :-(
Are your parents divorced::unfortunately not. haha.
Do you have step parents::nope.
Has your family ever disowned another member of your family::yep, my uncle.
Did some of your family come to America from another country::yesh, of course.
Music Stuff
What song do you swear was written about you or your life::"There's gotta be more to life"-Stacie Orrico.
What's the most embarrassing cd you own::Spice Girls-Spice World.
What's the best cd you own::Lifehouse-No Name Face.
What song do you absolutely hate::"Blue"-Eiffel 65.
Do you sing in the shower::Oh god, yeah! lol.
What song reminds you of that special someone::"Underneath it all."
Okay, I Name An Artist And You Give A Lyric From Any One Of Their Songs!
Pink::"I'm my own worst enemy, it's bad when you annoy yourself."
Aerosmith::"Everytime I dream of you, the sweetest dream would never do cos I miss you babe, and I don't wanna miss a thing.."
Madonna::"I wanna dress you up in my love, all over your body..."
Korn::"I'm a freak on a leash..something takes a part of me.."
Backstreet Boys::"Looking back on the things I've done, I was trying to be someone.."
The Beatles::"The long and winding road, that leads me back..back to your door.."
Sublime::"Love is what I've got..."
J.Lo::"I'm glad when I'm making love to you, I'm happy for the way you make me feel..I love it cos you seem to blow my mind everytime.."
*Nsync::"It's tearin up my heart, when I'm with you, but when we are apart I feel it too.."
Limp Bizkit::"No one knows what it's like, to be the bad man, to be the sad man..behind blue eyes.."
Stacie Orrico::"There's gotta be more to life than chasing down every temporary high.."
Creed::"When I'm with you, I'm free..I don't careless I believe..above all the others, we'll fly. It brings tears to my eyes, my sacrifice.."
Britany Spears::"I'm not a girl, not yet a woman..all I need is time..a moment that is mine.."
Good Charlotte::"Hold on..if you feel like letting go.."
Christina Aguilera::"I am beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can't bring me down.."
Eminem::"I'm sorry moma, I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to make you cry but tonight, I'm cleaning out my closet.."
Kelly Clarkson::"Little miss independent..little miss apprehensive..little miss let a man interfere.."
Kelly Osbourne::"Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep.."
Mandy Moore::"Have a little faith in me.."
Eve::"It's that gangsta luvin, that just got me buggin.."
Aaliyah::"Your love is one in a million, it goes on and on and on, you give me a really good feeling all day long.."
Nelly::"She only wants me for my pimp juice..I think I need to let her loose.."
Alicia Keys::"I'm fallin in and out of love with you, I've never loved someone the way that I love you.."
Incubus::"She cried out a warning..."
Favorites
Color:: Green
Food:: Italian
Song:: "Free fallin"-Tom Petty and the heartbreakers
Show:: Dawson's Creek
School subject:: English
Band/singer/artist:: Michelle Branch/Coldplay
Animal:: Bunnies/tigers.
Outfit:: None.
Radio station:: Y-100.
Movie:: Crazy/Beautiful & Now and Then.
Pair of shoes:: Adidas..my flip flops.
Cartoon:: none.
Actor:: Josh Hartnett
Actress:: Julia Stiles/Sandra Bullock
Potato chip:: Ruffles
Drink:: Root Beer
Soda:: Root Beer
Holiday:: 4th of July
Perfume/cologne:: Angel/Cool Water
Pizza topping:: Pepperoni
Jello flavor:: Orange
Lunch meat:: ham
Card Game:: Bullshit!
Video game:: none.
Website:: www.diaryland.com.
Book:: 1984.
Computer game:: Match um.
Number:: 23.
Cereal:: crispix.
Comedian:: Adam Sandler.
Dessert:: anything chocolate!
Disney character:: tazmanian devil.
Clothing store:: The Rave.
Past time:: Listening to music.
Teacher:: Ms Casey.
Childhood toy:: Barbies.
Carnival game/ride:: none in particular.
Candy bar:: Snickers.
Magazine:: Cosmopolitan.
Salad dressing:: ranch.
Thing to do on the weekend:: shop.
Hot drink:: hot cocoa.
Season:: spirng/fall..fall more-so though.
Sport to watch:: soccer/baseball.
Person to talk to online:: Nate
Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits
What color are your sheets:: white with a few other colors.
What color are your bedroom walls:: white
Do you have posters on your wall:: oh yeah lol.
If so of what:: of celebs mainly..some words and stuff.
Do you have a tv in your bedroom:: yep.
How many pillows are on your bed:: 1.
What do you normally sleep in:: tee and undies.
Describe your favorite pair of pajamas:: my leopard ones, with a blank tank top.
What size bed do you have:: twin.
Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed:: reg bed.
Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom:: nope.
Describe the last nightmare you had:: I forget.
Do you sleep with stuffed animals:: nope, only sometimes.
How many people can comfortably sleep comfortably in your bed:: 2, the most.
How many people can comfortably sleep comfortably in your bed:: you just asked that..
Any unusual sleeping positions:: lol nah.
Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling:: nope.
Do you snore:: nope.
How about drool:: LOL oh lordy, yep.
Do you have an alarm clock in your room:: yeah, but I don't use it.
What color is the carpet in your room:: redish purple.
What's under your bed:: dust and shit.
This or that
loser/wannabe:: wannabe.
Doughnuts/bagels:: donuts
Day/night:: night
Wicked witch of the east/wicked witch of the west:: wicked witch of the..umm..lol.
Heaven/hell:: heaven.
Make love/have sex:: make love.
Coffee/tea:: coffee.
Hamburgers/hotdogs:: hamburgers.
Rap/rock:: rock.
Britney/Christina:: neither.
Swiss cheese/american cheese:: american cheese.
Real World/Road Rules:: real world.
Backstreet Boys/*Nsync:: neither.
Silver/gold:: gold.
Nike/Adidas:: adidas.
McDonalds/Taco Bell:: Mickey D's!
Sweet/sour:: sour.
Punk/emo:: punk.
Hot/cold:: cold.
Winter/summer:: summer.
Spring/fall:: either one.
Operas/plays:: plays.
Read/watch tv:: both.
Cd's/tapes:: CD's.
Dvd's/vhs:: vhs.
Old/new:: new.
Shorts/skirts:: shorts.
Pink/red:: red.
Colored pictures/black and white photos:: colored.
Meat/vegetables:: meat.
Mexican food/chinese food:: chinese food.
Commercials/infomercials:: commercials.
Scary movies/comedies:: comedies.
Bikinis/one piece bathing suits:: bikinis.
Sandals/tennis shoes:: both!
Dogs/cats:: cats
Unicorns/fairies:: fairies
Water/land:: water.
Sugar/spice:: sugar.
Black/white:: black.
ribbons/bows:: ribbons.
Chicken/beef:: chicken.
Colored christmas lights/regular white christmas lights:: colored lights.
Cars/trucks:: cars.
Austin Powers/James Bond:: neither.
Popcorn/pretzels:: pretzels.
Hip/hop:: hop.
Passionate kiss/peck:: passionate kiss.
WWE wrestling/ real wrestling:: neither.
Back rub/foot massage:: back rub.
Picture frames/photo albums:: photo albums.
Pens/pencils:: pens.
What Is Your Opinion Of The Following
Eminem:: I love him. Amazing and talented wordsmith and MC.
Virgins:: I am one. I respect our kind..lol.
God:: I don't know if he truly exists, but I'd sure like to think so.
The Osbournes:: Eh, ok I guess.
Reality TV:: ADDICTING! lol.
J.Lo:: Ugh.
Religion:: Beliefs are good.
Emo music:: Cool. :)
Valentine's Day:: part of me think it's the most romantic, special day of the year and another part thinks it's overly commercialized..and when you're lonely and single, it's the most terrible day od the year, I know from past experience!
Christina Aguilera's comeback:: trashy.
Homosexuals:: i'm accepting.
Abortion:: pro-choice.
Inter-racial relationships:: I'm in one. I think love can be found at any age, with two people of whatever race. Love is color blind.
Murder:: wrong on so many levels.
Death:: scary, very.
Obesity:: no opinion.
Pre-marital sex:: great if you're in love and protected.
Terrorism:: horrible.
Pornography:: immoral, but whatever floats your boat. I guess it's ok to watch, but performing in it is not something I'd necessarily condone..lol.
Fortune Tellers:: I find it interesting..not sure how true it is, but definitely interesting.
Threesomes:: not my thing.
Prostitution:: whatever floats your boat.
Politics:: it bores me.
Country music:: not my thing.
George W. Bush:: I don't like him.
Cloning:: I don't know all too much about it.
Britney's boobs:: I think, implants.
Gas prices in America:: Toooo high.
What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names?...
Jack:: Jack McPhee..lol.
Tiffany:: friend on D-Land.
Ben:: Affleck.
Maria:: that Santana song.
Jennifer:: Lopez.
Nicole:: Kidman.
Amy:: Amy from D-land. :)
Adam:: eck, old friend.
Richard:: old friend.
Arnold:: Schwarzenegger
Tom:: my cousin's man.
Melissa:: an old friend.
Charlotte:: Good charlotte.
Harold:: nothing.
John:: friend.
Joel:: from good charlotte.
Vanessa:: williams.
Michelle:: eck, THE michelle..lol.
Kevin:: Arnold..lol.
Brent:: nothing.
Jake:: less than jake.
Billy:: ex b/f.
Sarah:: Sarah from d-land. :)
Natalie:: Portman..eck.
Christy:: old friend.
Nick:: Lachey..eww!
Linda:: michelle's mom.
Taylor:: Dayne? lol.
Jordan:: nothing.
Jamie:: eck, an enemy of mine from high school.
Adrian:: That "The calling" song.
Have You Ever....
Mooned anyone:: yep. lol.
Been on a diet:: yeah, sort of.
Been to a foreign country:: nope.
Broken a bone:: nope.
Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling:: not yet lol. actually I think I did swallow a filling once.
Swear at a teacher:: nope.
Talked to an gj member via emails or instant messages:: gj?
Got in a fight:: not a physical one, but I was close.
Dated a teacher:: EWW no. lol.
Laughed so hard you peed your pants:: lol yesh.
Thought about killing your enemy:: yeah lol but not seriously.
Gone skinny dipping:: nope.
Met another gj member in the flesh:: what?
Told a little white lie:: we all have.
Told a secret you swore not to tell:: yep. :-(
Stolen anything:: yep.
Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid:: lol yeah.
Been on TV:: nope.
Been on the radio:: nope.
Been in a mosh pit:: I'd like to, but no.
Been to a concert:: yep.
Dated one of your best friends:: lol not best friend, but close friends yes.
Loved someone so much it makes you cry:: right now.
Deceived somebody close to you:: unfortunately. :(
Broken the law:: stealing is a law breaker, yesh lol.
Been to a rodeo:: nope.
Been on a talk show:: nope.
Been on a game show:: nope.
Been on an airplane:: yesh.
Got to ride on a firetruck:: nope.
Came close to dying:: yep.
Cheated on a bf/gf:: in the past, yeah.
Gave someone a piggy back ride:: no.
Terrorized a babysitter:: no.
Made a mud pie:: no.
Had a dream that you're falling off a cliff:: not yet, but you wait lol.
Snuck out of the house at night:: nope.
Been so drunk you don't remember your name:: nope
Had an eating disorder:: yeah, I think so.
Felt like you didn't belong:: I feel that way a lot. :(
Felt like the 3rd wheel:: look ^.
Smoked:: nope.
Done drugs:: nope.
Been arrested:: nope.
Had your tonsils removed:: nope.
Gone to camp:: nope.
Won a bet:: yep.
Written a love letter:: yep.
Gone out of your way to be with the one you love:: yes.
Written a love poem:: yep.
Kissed in the rain:: not yet.
Slow danced with someone you love:: not yet.
Participated in an orgy:: lol no.
Faked an orgasm:: LOL. I think you need to have sex first before you can say that you've faked an orgasm. Not like I'd fake one anyway..heh..lol. ;)
Stolen a kiss:: no.
Asked a friend for relationship advice:: yeah.
Had a friend steal your bf/gf:: no.
Watched the sunset/rise with someone you love:: not yet.
Gotten a speeding ticket::..
Done jail time:: nope.
Had to wear a uniform to work::..
Won a trophy:: nope.
Thrown up in public:: lol yup.
Bowled a perfect game:: haha riight!
Failed/got held back:: sorta, in 9th grade, but that wouldn't even count, so no.
Got perfect attendance in grade school:: I think so.
Roasted pumpkin seeds:: nope.
Taken ballet/karate lessons:: nope.
Attempted suicide:: no.
Cut yourself:: no.
Childhood Stuff
Did you play with Barbies/G.I. Joes:: Barbies
Did you own Treasure Trolls:: lol I still have a few.
Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210:: nope.
Did you play Simon Says:: lol all the time.
Did you watch Fraggle Rock:: yep.
Did you wet the bed:: lol yes. :blushes:
Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed:: yep.
Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them:: LOL yes.
Were you shy:: I always have been.
Were you spoiled:: nope.
Were you abused:: yes.
Did you go to the circus:: nope.
Did you go to the zoo:: yep.
Were you in a car accident:: yep.
Did you build snowmen:: yep.
Did you cry when you scraped your knee:: yep.
Were your older cousins mean to you:: not really.
Did you think slinkies were cool:: lol yes!
Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer:: lol no.
Were you afraid of the dark:: somewhat.
Did you have slumber parties:: yep.
Did you have New Kids on the Block sheets, pillows, pajamas, sleeping bag?: haha, no.
Did you tease your hair out like Tiffany:: no.
Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy:: the tooth fairy, hey, I was a kid! lol.
Randomness
Do you believe in aliens:: no.
Name three things that are next to your computer:: chips, walkman, remote control.
Do you have any hidden talents:: not really.
Do you wish MTV would play music videos:: lol yeah.
If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be:: romantic comedy.
What would your movie star name be:: ?
Do you play any sports:: nope. i'm not at ALL athletic.
What's the scariest movie you've ever seen:: get back to me.
What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently:: Love actually.
What is the dumbest movie you've ever seen:: Dude..where's my car?
Do you drive:: not right now.
What is your dream car:: mustang.
Do you think your good looking:: no. avg.
Do others think you are good looking:: who cares.
Would you ever sky dive:: yes!
Do you believe in Bigfoot:: lol no.
How many rooms do you have in your house:: 3.
Are you afraid of roller coasters:: no.
Do you believe in God:: sorta.
Do you believe in Satan:: he's out there.
Do you believe there is a heaven:: hopefully.
Do you believe there is a hell:: hopefully not lol.
Do you own a pooltable:: nope.
Do you have a pool:: nope.
Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen:: yesh.
Do you like chocolate:: YES! lol
Who/what is on your 2003 calendar:: nevermind lol.
How many U.S. states have you been to:: 6.
Ever wished on a shooting star:: I've yet to see a shooting star.
Best Halloween costume you ever wore:: fairy.
Do you carry any weapons on you:: no.
What is your weakness:: too many.
Name something you can't get enough of:: magazines.
Describe yourself in 3 adjectives:: moody, introspective, thoughtful.
How many kids do you want to have:: 2 or 3.
Future daughters names:: many.
Future sons names:: many.
What is your ideal way to die:: in my sleep.
How do you release stress:: writing usually.
Do you consider yourself a trendy person:: nope.
Are you an artisitic person:: LOL no!
Are you a realistic person?:: somewhat.
Do you un-tie your shoes every time you take them off:: yep.
Are you a strong person:: emotionally, no.
Are you a strong willed person:: yes.
Who is the last person to e-mail you:: Johanna.
Who is the last person to IM you:: Nate.
Do you hate chain e-mails:: no.
Are you a deep sleeper:: sometimes.
Are you a good story teller:: no!
What do you believe is your best quality:: sweetness?
What is your greatest accomplishment:: writing award.
Do you like to burn candles or incense:: candles.
Do you have your own credit card:: nope.
Let's say you win the lotto. What do you do with all that money?:: WHAT money? lol.
Do you have a check book:: no.
Do you like your drivers licence:: I have a permit, not a license yet.
Do you tan easily:: no! I redden easily though.
What color is your hair naturally:: brown.
How many fillings do you have:: I had one.
How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit:: none.
Worst feeling in the world?: loneliness.
Best feeling in the world:: love.
Is the glass half empty or half full:: half full.
Last thing you downloaded:: music.
Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life?:: LOL yesh.
What do you think people think of you:: hopefully they think only good things.
Are you a likeable person:: I think so.
Do you need therapy:: lol yeah, I do.
Do you take medication for a chemical imbalance:: no.
Do you love your bf/gf:: with all my heart.
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would they call it FED UP:: LOL haha.
When are you moving:: next year.
What's your favorite phrase:: "It's all good!"

Long Survey brought to you by BZOINK!

Past 5 memories...

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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