In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

Song: Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve

Well..this is it. It's over! :) Today is the beginning of the rest of my life. It's the last day of school!! :) I think later on today I will come back and maybe share with you some memories I've had through my 4 years..and about my personal feelings, and how today went. I have NO time right now and I'm tired as hell, so it prolly wouldn't make sense right now. All I know is I'm going to PARTY tonight!!! lol Wow..it's amazing what a full moon and lunar eclipse can do to some people. =D Even the full moon made ME feel good.

For now, I want to talk about yesterday..I got Debbie to sign my yearbook. :) I can ALWAYS count on her to make me laugh. We took our math test. Afterwards I asked my math teacher if it was OK to take my NB test after school, and she said yeah..and then I asked her if she wanted the book. She said she wasn't sure because she had to grade my test and said there was a possibility that I MIGHT have to take the final..in my mind I was like "Ohh fuuck.."

So then on the TV announcements, the people were saying goodbye to the seniors and they showed the seniors as little kids in their yearbooks. Of course, I wasn't in it, because I wasn't down here for elementary school, and I was only here for part of middle school. They were soooo cute!! :) I saw some of my friends when they were younger..aww!!! Then they had the teachers saying their goodbyes and shtuff.

Then 3rd hour nothing much was done because their was a sub. Me and my friend Denise were talking about shtuff, and then we started singing "Unchained melody" because she asked me if I saw A Idol and I said "yeah..I LOVE it when Clay and Justin sang Unchained Melody.." and she said "Yeah, me too." I sang the words, and she sang/hummed them. So I teased her for not knowing the words. So she started hitting me, and I hit her back and we had soo many laughs. She said "I better keep in touch and call her or ELSE.." lol. Aww :oP I'm gonna miss her.

Times like that, I will never forget.

Me and Debbie said our goodbyes. :) She said I besta come back and see her. I definitely will. Man..I am HORRIBLE with goodbyes. But hey, who really IS good at them?? I got some other kid in my third hour to sign it, and I got Carmen to sign it. All she said was "You were always so nice to me. Stay tru. Thanks for being a friend."

Then fifth hour, me and Steph and Christine chatted, and I felt like a celebrity in there. People were asking me all kinds of questions and Christine said she'd see me at graduation since she's singing there, and she said I besta get online so we can chat. :)

Leaving my first and seventh hour felt soo weird. But I just walked away, and never looked back. Hopefully, today I can walk out of that school with the same sense of peace. Looking back on the good times, and the bad..but never regretting one moment of it. Thinking about it and knowing I am fine with the way I turned out and grew up over these past 12 years I've been in public school.

Then after all that, there was a fight at lunch. Just 2 girls yelling at each other, nothing big. Of course, everyone had to run over and see what was going on. Then I saw An-Ha and asked her to sign my yearbook. Went to 7th hour, got another signature..then I walked over to my math class..nervously of course b/c my fate was lying in there. My friend said she'd come with me, since my mom was giving her a ride home, but then my math teacher kicked me out because she had to go to the planning room with another math teacher.

So I had to sit outside on the ground and take my NB test. After that, we got to the planning room. I gave in my test and asked if I have to take the final. My teacher didn't say anything, but instead looked over the NB test, at every answer. And finally looked up at me, smiled..and said the word I'd been longing to hear..No. That was the most beautiful word in the english language at that point..lol. I asked her if she wanted my math book..she said yeah..and then told me "Good luck Stace." And that was it..yes!!! I PASSED!! I made it!! I was so worried, but I did it!! You don't KNOW how good it feels.

Then, we got to the car..my mom looked REALLY bad. She was holding her head and I just KNEW my dad gave her a headache. She started venting to me of course, AND my friend..saying they got into yet another HUGE fight..and he basically told her she was a "worthless piece of shit..she doesn't do anything..the house looks like shit..etc". He also said that she makes him miserable and she "ruined his life." I think it's the OTHER way around, buddy. So then she said "if you hate me so much, why don't you get a divorce." Then he said he was "thinking about it." Ugh.

BUT then five minutes later he said that he was sorry and shit. And my mom told him to leave her alone because he was making HER sick and making HER miserable and that her blood pressure was going to go up and she was having a headache. She told me that she is going to do everything in her power to make him hate her, and that she's getting a divorce when the time is right financially. So I yelled out "I don't want to hear about this fucking shit anymore..every day it's the same thing..just stop already.."

Then I said that I just can't take it anymore..and need to get the hell away from here, and go to college somewhere else because I can't live here anymore, and I've had enough. She said that was how she felt, and this is reality..so I told her I'd prefer to stay in my dream world..thank you very much.

When we got home she said she had to lie down, and then me and Nate talked on the phone. =oP She then afterwards said she didn't even want to eat anything and she just didn't feel good. I felt soo bad for her. Looking at her, knowing the immense hell she goes through day by day.

My dad's just a prick who needs psychiatric help, that's all there is to it. Luckily Friends was coming on, and I needed those laughs. It was such a good episode!! Phoebe and Mike are back together..just like they belong. Ohh..and Rachel and Joey..and Ross and Charlie..Woo hoo! That show is like another Dawsons to me, except of course Dawsons will always be my favorite show ever.

Man, I only have 10 mins to finish this. But do you realize..this is the last time I will be waking up at 5 in the morning?! :) Wooo hooO! My friend is going to kiss the ground today. I said I wouldn't go THAT far, but I am going to walk through the entire school and kind of say goodbye to it in my head. In just TWO weeks I graduate!! I'm so proud of myself. I made it soo far!!:) Before I forget...here's the friday five.

1. What drinking water do you prefer -- tap, bottle, purifier, etc.?

Bottle.

2. What are your favourite flavor of chips?

I LOVE Dorittos "Cooler ranch."

3. Of all the things you can cook, what dish do you like the most?

I can COOK?! Who said?! lol. I am not really experienced in that area. I make a pretty good Tuna Casserole though. =D

4. How do you have your eggs?

Either fried, or scrambled depending on my mood..and yes, I know how to make an egg..lol.

5. Who was the last person who cooked you a meal? How did it turn out?

My mom..doh..lol. It turned out well, as always. She's a great cook.

Later I will write a MUCH longer entry reminscing, about my feelings, about everything. I might be leaving early today, or maybe that's a rumor..but I promise I'm coming back with a LONG entry.

Baby..I did NOT lose that list of names. :P And I don't suck! lol. I knew you'd have a good night. And no worries..you will have that grandchild one day so your mom can do that with him/her..I promise you that. It's nice to see you are getting more personal now with your entries. :) Have fun with the dean!! Just think in a matter of hours..no more high school!!! I love you so much babe!

Bye bye! Be back later. Have a great Friday ya'll. YEAH! It's my last day!!! It's a HUGE accomplishment!!

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." --Ralph Waldo Emerson..[I saw that quote come up REPEATEDLY throughout the senior quotes and I like it soo much, and think it's soo appropriate, that I am putting it up.]

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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