In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

Song: Don't stop believing by Journey

Hellooo. :) I am so tired right now..*yawn*..lol..before I start this thing right hurr (lol) I am plugging my last entry about Nate's visit cos I am sure a lot of people haven't read it yet. Aww and the entry he put up for me in our diary was soo sweet! Yes, I loved it, baby! Anyway...

Yesterday was rather cool. Me and Nate talked for a while. Sure, it wasn't as much as we would have both liked but just talking to him even for 5 mins, makes me feel like the happiest girl in the universe. I just miss him. :( I was re-reading a letter he sent me agess ago when he said he'd ask me to marry him one day and I just couldn't stop smiling. I held the bunny he gave me last night and just lyed there, smiling because like I said, it smells just like him and I was picturing him being in my arms instead and I was just listening to some love songs and certain ones reminded me of the time we spent together. Awww..I got teary eyed at times but I had to push the tears back.

Well, tomorrow's my birthday! Yes, TOMORROW. This is my last day to be a kid so I'm gonna enjoy it!! haha. I just wish, with all of my heart that Nate was here to celebrate it with me. :( Argh. We are going out for dinner somewhere..not sure WHERE however. That's for me to decide. Like I said, it will just be the three of us. I already got a check and card in the mail from my grandpa. So, I am now $50 richer. When he calls me tomorrow, I have to thank him. I know though, that many people will forget my b-day..oh well. I also got the rings from Anna, honey. YAY! Aww..later when we talk sweetie, I have to tell you what she said. She's so adorable. That's right Anna..on the off chance you're reading this..I LUV YA!!

Anyway, I didn't do much of anything yesterday..just thought of Nate a lot. I've been kissing his ring soo much lately. I am going to try that Mango soon, dammit! lol. I've been meaning to. We d/led AOL 9.0 last night..it took about TWELVE hours!!! So, no computer last night for either of us. My computer is slow as shit..argh. 9.0 seems ok so far.

My mom spent time with my cousin yesterday and my aunt called. Everything's ok but she missed the funeral due to getting lost..lol. EVERYONE should get lost..well, every couple, anyway..lol. It's a lot of funn. ;) hehe. *blushes* Anywho..I feel so much better after showering and shaving yesterday cos I needed it so bad.

I saw Road Rules last night. I enjoyed it a lot because of the spiritual overtones in it. I loved how they opened up and talked about their hugest fear. You know..my biggest fear was that no one would love me, or want to get to know me..or think I was weird or whatever but it's SOO not true. I have found the love of my life, and I am never letting him go. Every sign just points to true, everlasting love. We have such a deep connection and know what each other is thinking. He's just such a part of me everywhere I go, and in everything I do and though we're apart, he's in my heart always. (K)

After watching that..I just realized we just need to live..every single day. To live for NOW..for moments. We need to love, not hate..trust, not keep our guard up. We need to overcome our fears and get out there and do things we fear because then we will gain confidence. Those that are single need to put their faith into finding love, but to not look for it and just trust in God and keep busy and then they will find it. There was more I wanted to say, but yeah I don't want to get TOO deep..lol. I can't wait for Real World later. :)

My mom is now on my ass about a job. I guess I'll have to look soon. :( It's really going to impact me and Nate talking but I know everything will work out in the end for the best..like always. My dad's off from work..he's just being his corny ass self. *rolls eyes* Yeah, Nate knows what I'm talking about.

Ooh gah I love these leopard pants! :) Yep, I am wearing my new PJ's. They are spiffy. Anyway, I am supposed to call Nate tonight. I am so excited..everytime I hear his voice, I get chills. I just fall so much deeper into love with him everyday and it's just insane how powerful and consuming, and intense this love is. He's just my heart. <3 I love him endlessly. I've just been thinking about those amazing moments we had, and will continue to have. :)

It's like..as long as he's in my life..everything's ok. My world is so much better with him in it. I am glad we found each other. But anyway, lol..my mom's making me laugh so much right now. She knows how to do that really well. I am thankful for that, that she can always cheer me up but I'm not going to 'hide' behind her anymore. I am going to step out and just not cling on. Woo hoo I can't wait till tomorrow! MY B-DAAAYYY YEAAAAHHHH lol.

Well, I am going to go..I'm gonna eat now so I don't have to eat with my dad..lol. Then I am just going to chill before me and Nate talk. :) To each and every one of you..I thank you! *hugs* Make it a great Tuesday! I love you, deeply, madly, crazily Nate! (K)

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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