In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

Song: Shattered dreams-Johnny Hates Jazz

Hey folks..*sighs* woo...I am totally worn out from yesterday..it was a looong day so this will be a long entry. Sorry! :/

Sooo after yours truly updated, I drank some coffee (bad idea cos it gave me a tummy ache :( ), waited a while for Nate and he finally came online and we talked for a half hour because he had a lot of stuff to do and I was supposed to go out to lunch with my mom, cos she was getting hungry. Guess what?! He made the flight arrangements!! He'll be here on Sept 2nd and leaving on the 6th and I am sooo fucking nervous. Even right now my hands are still shaky lol. But I'm also extremely excited and of course me being a hopeless ROMANTIC is conjuring up all the sappy things we will be saying and doing while he's here..lol. Woo hoo..My birthday is 4 days after he leaves here..on the 10th..sooo soon guys!! Gah I can't wait to see my baby!!! He put the flight times and shtuff in his entry..so hop on over there and check that out. :� COUNTDOWN: 2 weeks!!! WOO HOOOO!!!!!

Like he said, the nervousness will get worse but once he's here it will totally subside..I have a lot more to say about it later..

Anyway, so after we talked me and mom went to Wendys..I got a salad..hells yeah!! She got a salad too. Then we went to the store and I got lip gloss, sourpunch straws, and a magazine and she got some stuff. Then we went to get some yogurt..mmmm..then went home because it looked like it was going to storm. So we played Upwords..guess who won again?! Yep..me..the reigning CHAMPION guys!!! Yeah! =D

Oh yes..we found out Denise called AGAIN yesterday but my mom as you know, is avoiding her at ALL costs and is planning on e-mailing her with a nasty e-mail. Anyway, so after Upwords I read my magazine and was happy because the day was turning out pretty decent..HAHAHA..RIGHT! There's ALWAYS a little bit of drama with me. I never have a day where everything goes perfectly. :( I KNEW something would happen to knock me off my pedestal. I don't think there is such a thing anyway..oh well..that's life for you. Ugh.

Anyway..I listened to some music and stuff and requested some songs to d/l. I requested.."I have nothing", "Angel eyes", "She wants to dance with me"..of course ALL cheesy, sappy songs..lol. :�

The next song I am gonna request is "One moment in time." Loove that song. I also took a bunch of quizzes.

I then watched some TV till dinner. We ate..all was fine..till my fucking dad opened his big mouth. He starts whining, bitching, complaining because I don't have a job OR go to school and it's not right and I can't stay at home forever and blah blah fucking blah. Yeah I know dad..I am just going to throw my future out the window..go buy a fucking clue. I was SO ready to tell him about Nate and to say that me and my mom have decided that I am going to wait till after Nate's here to get a job cos it wouldn't make sense for me to get one now.

Of course, I couldn't get a word out because he blocks EVERYONE out and hears what he wants to fricking hear and just screams. Then he walks away when people are talking to him. So I mumbled "Leave me alone!" So he said "What"? so I said.."Fine..LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!" So he said He had a right to ask. I GUARANTEE you someone at work opened their big yap and someone asked him what I am doing with myself right now. He doesn't care about me OR my future. He NEVER, ever did. I should have asked him what the hell it means to him what I do with myself. He said he's so fed up with me and mom and one day he's going to walk right out the door. I said "good" under my breath. Fucking dick. We don't even have the money right now to get me into a door at college!!! Because of him and his fucking spending their credit card bills are up the ass. My mom says it's ok that I am waiting for that and I don't need to go to college right away, and I have no other choice but I should work at least..I agreed. At least SHE has tact!!!

He just opens his yapper whenever he damn well pleases. So I didn't say anything about Nate because it was such a bad time. My mom said that I really screwed myself up because if I would have told him long ago, he wouldn't be bothering me now..he just thinks I'm being lazy but that's not the case. I know I should have said something a while ago and I am paying for it now.

My mom says today I should just tell him off and tell him the truth about himself but nooo way..he's a fucking baby..he slams doors, throws things and has temper tantrums. You never know how he's going to react. Hell, I am afraid to even be in the same room with him today. I DO however have to tell him about Nate TODAY!!! There's NO way around it. :/ She said she'll bring it up initially, but I have to add my own stuff in there so right now, while typing this I pretty much know what to say. This is going to be before dinner tonight.

Hell my mom thought Nate is coming at the END of SEPTEMBER so I said "nooo." I told her when he is really coming. Then she said that my room has to be sparkling clean so I said "Yes I know" and she has a lot of cleaning to do with the house..LOL then she said something that CRACKED me up..

Mom: "Stace..I hope Nate doesn't have a one track mind and want to..well..you know..under my roof..I'm pretty open minded..I just don't want it to be in my house so you guys are definitely not sleeping in the same room. I am thinking of putting an aero bed in the living room for him to sleep on."

Me: (Laughing slightly) "Noo mom..we won't be doing any of that shtuff and he isn't coming here to boing me!" lol. (but also thinking at the time..soo..it would be ok if we were freaky somewhere else??! lol)

Then she said that I could also tell my dad that I've known Nate for years, which is true..yeah I have a speech prepared..if he goes crazy who the fuck cares. I also have to tell him that Nate didn't get the tixs yet (bullshit!) so he won't feel like Nate got them without his approval. Besides at first him running his mouth, he'll say yeah cos I have my mom backing me up saying that it's fine with her if Nate is here. My mom rocks! =D Sure she's a bit nervous of having someone she doesn't know in the house but she KNOWS how much he means to me. :)

Anyway, after all that crap I couldn't finish my dinner really so I went upstairs and watched some more TV..saw the new Road Rules. Well, they failed their mission and Donell got sent home. *BIG SHOCKER...NOT!* lol. They lost the mission because of him..and well Mary Beth couldn't pick the lock. There's MUCHO drama between Mary Beth and Tina because they are just competing and trying to outdo each other..one is skankier than the other. *rolls eyes* It's just jealousy..Tina's trying to rain on Mary Beth's parade because she was getting Dave so Tina wanted to bring out her claws. And of course Mary Beth is letting Tina see that she's not getting the best of her. Next week is some kind of tattooing stuff. I also watched a bit of "I love the 70's." Because of my damn dad I had funky ass dreams last night AGAIN..one was about an old friend of mine I wish I had never talked to in the first place. :(

After watching that, I went to bed..had that talk with my mom..ate some breakfast and now here I am. I am so nervous about later but it HAS to be done. Oh yeah..my cousin feels somewhat better..:) so I am happy. I am going to wait on Nate to come online. My mom's at the doc's now getting stuff zapped off her face. Here's the daily Zen...

Daily Zen

What are your favorite pizza toppings?

Pepperoni and that's it really. How odd cos we're having pizza tonight!!! lol.

Anyway, I besta end this because my dad will be home soon and I want to be in my room when he's here so he can't talk to me now. I'll probably be back later to put up a survey, a joke, and some insight from my Psych journal. (: It's RAINING so I ain't doing shit today! :) Have a great Tuesday ya'll..hells yeah Real World tonight!! XOXO

"Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone?"-"Big yellow Taxi"

"A true friend will see you through when others see that you are through."--Laurence J. Peter

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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