In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

I am back again!! I am sorry that I keep doing this..keep reappearing and then disappearing. This time, I have a good reason for it. As you all know, FL has been pummeled with one hurricane after another. Just as I feel like it's time for an update, we have another one and I lose my power for like 2 days and then just lose touch with writing. I'll hopefully be back for awhile, but as always..time will tell.

I'm not feeling too good..both emotionally and physically. Yep, the one-two punch. The emotional crappiness is pretty much a result of the physical crappiness I'm going through right now. It's just a combination of so many things that are getting me down emotionally. I'm somehow going to need to get myself through it. I know i'll survive..I always do. I always rely on my friends (basically you guys) and Nate to help me handle everything..but I have to stop doing that. People can only do much and only be there so much..they can't be there 24/7 and in the end..I'm gonna need to count on me.

I always feel so alone day after day when I'm really not alone in reality. I don't know why I constantly feel that way, but I do. It's such a horrible habit to depend on people. I need to break away from that somehow. But anyway, I'm just going through a rough time right now. Maybe when I'm feeling better physically, I'll feel better emotionally too? I hope so. I'm sorry if I've been a bad friend to any of you..I truly am. I love you all though...I hope you all know that. If you don't, you know it now.

I don't ever want to shut any of you out of my life, you are all important to me. I'm going to probably start to write my thoughts and feelings onto a paper journal again just to get everything out and then maybe I'll transfer it onto here. I feel like I can freely and fully express myself on paper and I want to feel that I can do that here too.

I have to start thinking positively..I've been good at in the past. I just have so much on my mind..you wouldn't want to know what is going on in my head. lol. Soon enough i'm sure these feelings and thoughts will go away. Until then, I'll have to try and hang in there as best as I can.

I'm going to go lie down..take care everybody. I hope I'll be back sooner than later. <3333

PS: Yesterday was the two year anniversary of this diary. I can't believe it. That is truly remarkable.

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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