In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

Song: Please forgive me by Bryan Adams

Good morning..yikkess..been having mucho computer problems. JUST as I was trying to write you guys, the computer decided to be a b**ch and not let me do ANYTHING. It only works when it wants to. Luckily, it finally let me write to you guys.

In case you were wondering, and I am sure only a small portion of you are (lol), my headache went away..I can feel it sloowlly creeping up on me, I just hope it doesn't. After I updated, I ate dinner and lyed down in bed until around 9:30, the headache stuff wasn't working so I went to bed. Of course, listened to sappy love stuff on Delilah..lol.

My mom is HOOKED on The Bachelor now..I can't believe it..lol. Americans (including me) have a love affair with Reality Shows. I wonder why they are so appealing sometimes..heh. I'm excited cos Friends is on tonight. =D It's hard to believe it's the last year. :(

I have a million thoughts racing through my mind at the moment. Nate didn't have a good day..:( I wish I can reach out through this screen and give him a huge hug and a kiss..and just hold him. Yes, we had a fight..but that doesn't deter me or anything. I'll always care about him and love him through everything. Can ya'll write him? Make him smile or something. That's all I ask. And he's soo totally wrong when he says that I deserve better..he doesn't realize it but I'll never find better than him...ever..I can search the globe and back, and I'd never find someone as good for me as he is, someone as amazing as him.

I think we know when we are in love because we look out more for that person's needs than our own. Sure, with love things change and the people in it grow, but they grow together..they learn together..they keep moving forward together.

I seem to be getting so irritated over stupid little things lately..like this morning I blew up at my mom for no reason at all. I don't know how she puts up with me..heh. I probably did it just out of frustration. I hate it when I take stuff out on people, she doesn't deserve that. I am sure she's used to it though..heh. Dammit..more rain today..oh well..more boredom..lol. I just feel totally stressed out by life..but again, i can't take it out on others. I feel like there's not enough time in the day to do what I need to do..oh well.

I'm coming to the conclusion it's ok to make a big mistake, as long as you don't make that big mistake over again..as long as you learn from it and don't do that certain thing over again then it's ok. I've learned that after every bad day, a good day immediately follows. I've also learned from Ashlynn that through every bad day, there's always at least ONE good thing that happens..that cancels out all the bad..there's always one reason to smile. If you have a bad day you'll notice that at least one good thing happened in that bad day..am I right?? It's amazing how the world works.

I think it's so important to believe in someone..to let someone know that you have their back, to encourage them, to be there for them..cos we human beings can't make it through everything by ourselves. If you isolate people and think you'll be doing yourself a favor cos you won't be attached to something and you won't have that pain..you're only kidding yourself cos you WILL have that loneliness. People are so eager to give up when times are rough..but if you hang in there, you'll see that the times will get better..through the bad times you build character and you learn and you change. Struggles are what makes us better human beings.

Anyway, it is now fall..hard to believe. Seasons change so fast, years go by so fast. I feel like it's all passing me by in the blink of an eye. I feel like I'm sitting here, watching the world go by..letting it pass me by. I'm not letting anything go, so I can start a new chapter in my life. I've been stuck on the same chapter for aggess. I hope that in a few years I will turn some pages in life. And this chapter I am referring to has nothing to do with love..it has to do with achievements and accomplishments. I don't feel like I've accomplished much..cos of my stagnant ways. My life has been in park instead of drive..I plan to put it in drive soon. :)

I just hope to stop holding grudges, to stop living in the past and to start living in the here and now and the future..THAT would be a huggee achievement.

Other things are on my mind, and I don't know why but I can't form it all into words. I hope today's better..especially for my baby..I wonder why bad things happen to such great people..it doesn't make sense. Karma sucks sometimes..heh. Oh well..I will try my best to get him through these bad times.

I just feel sometimes like I care too much..yet I don't get back much in return. I'll be FRANK here..I know who cares about me on here, and who doesn't..and I am keeping it all in mind. Either way, I care about all of you whether you like me or not. :)

Well, gotta go..my mom will be out of the shower soon..I promised her the 'puter and I need to get dressed anyway and ready for me and Nate's talk later on. Pray for him..ok..I hope he has the strength to move on and pick himself up from yesterday's events..I know he will..he's strong, he's wise..I have all the faith in the world in him..I just pray he doesn't give up. Sweetie..don't EVER talk like that saying you have nothing to wake up to, cos that's totally soo far from the truth. I really hope we get everything worked out. I want nothing more than for things to go back to the way they were. You KNOW I love you.

Have a great Thursday guys!!! Bye bye.

"When the mind is lost the heart will lead it back on track."

"True love can be felt more in the silence than in the words."

"If you're feeling lonely, don't, you're the only one that I'll ever want..I'm only trying to make it good.."

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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