In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. ~Janos Arany~

Song: You'll be in my heart by Phil Collins...great song!!

Hey guys. Well I haven't wrote an entry till friday. Not much going on really..well with me..

Ok, guys..My sweetie is not feeling well right now. :( I don't want to go into specifics but I'm really worried right now though I know that everything will be ok. It's just hard not to be with him right now..comforting him through what he's going through but he knows I am here for him in other ways. Please..just keep him in your prayers..keep us in your prayers because it's not just him going through it..it's us. Since we are so closely connected, we are not Nate and Stacey..we are..NateStacey..we are like one person..so what he feels, I feel. So again, if you can..let him know you're here for him..it would probably help out tremendously. :) Thanks. I had a dream about him last night..I'll have to tell him about it later.

I was just sitting down, eating breakfast with my mom. I ACTUALLY helped out around the house..lol. My mom does so much for me, I thought i'd help out. I am in SHOCK because I made an egg ALL on my own. I know ya'll are prolly thinking.."big shit..wow.." lol..but it's big for ME. It didn't even burn! hehe. I think if I had more confidence in myself, I would do so many more things. I realize I am capable of many things. It just felt so good to make that egg and not screw it up. It's the best feeling in the world when you realize you can do something that you didn't think you have in you.

Anyway, after eating..we were watching Johnny Cash's video for 'Hurt' on Vh1. It was sooo eerie. I felt bad..because he looked so depressed and so like, ready to end it all. He just seemed really down and really angry and really just ready to let go. It was so haunting. I didn't want to watch it but for some reason, I couldn't tear my eyes off of the screen. My mom claims he looked the way he did because of drugs and alcohol..could be.

Again, it's just sad when you destroy yourself with that crap. Sure, you don't see the effects right away..but it erodes at your system and you suffer in the long run and really start to look older than you are. It's just a slow death and I feel sad for people that are addicted. I could never turn to it because I KNOW better..I've learned all about it, I heard about it in school and it really got through my head that that stuff kills you. I've seen the effects on my family members, it just really hurts me. It just breaks my heart to see people's lives slipping away, people with such promising lives, really. :(

Anyway..besides that..I heard about the whole Bennifer thing..I could see it coming from a mile away. Yep, they broke up. *rolls eyes* lol He apparently got cold feet..gee I wonder why? lol She doesn't know what the heck she wants anyway. I knew they wouldn't last because Gigli bombed. I just can't believe their doing ANOTHER movie together. Her career is probably going to go down the tubes. I think the whole marriage was a publicity stunt. He knew she was going to leave him after a while..it seems to be a pattern.

My aunt called from New York yesterday with some depressing news. :( My third cousin, Derek (I named him) anyway, he's a little slow and mentally behind..mentally retarded. Poor kid..:( The mother, is of course in denial and doesn't think anything's wrong. The other two kids are doing well though. Then she said that my cousin is starting to become like his wife..badd thing..and our family friend looks like he's on his last legs. He's such a nice guy..I'd be so upset if we lost him from this world. He created stuff for himself though cos all he does is eat himself to death and he used to be an alcholic..so again, he's not helping himself at all. He's just a great guy and I hope he'll be ok..he's done soo much for our family..he was there for my grandpa when he was diagnosed with cancer. He's always been there. We all love him.

I am clinging onto hope though..that's all I have at the moment. It's been such a nice, relaxing weekend. I went out to dinner last night with my mom..then we went for a drive and a talk. I love talking to her, we can talk about nothing and everything for hours. You wouldn't know by looking at her..but she's the intellectual type just like me. She's so much fun and I know she gets on my ass at times, and nags and is sort of overprotective, but only out of concern for me.

My dad has to go to that grievance committee on Tuesday..my mom has to go with him. She's not thrilled about this, but he wants her there. Geez..is she always going to hold his hand all his life? He needs to be independent and learn things on his own. It's not good when you expect everyone to do everything for you, because one day they won't be around and you'll need to learn how to fend for yourself.

Argh..I am so tired which is odd because I got lots of sleep last night. I am so sorry I fell asleep, honey when I was supposed to call back. :( You don't know how bad I feel. I think it could be mental tiredness though..don't know. Anyway, I'm excited cos Reba is on tonight! Yeah! And the Road Rules finale is tomorrow..I wonder what's gonna happen.

So, yeah..I've been talking to Nate a lot lately. :) I am going to have to look for a job soon, to save up money so I can move out of here and live with Nate. I need to do some stuff NOW to prepare myself for our future. I have to take a shower in a few mins..my hair is hella oily..eck. Then later on, I'm talking to Nate before he leaves, and me and my mom are probably going to walmart to give some stuff to the salvation army truck..if they are even around.

I THINK there was more stuff I wanted to talk about, but I promised my mom the computer now so maybe I'll save them for tomorrow. There's something REALLY serious I NEED to talk about tomorrow..so look out for that. Take care guys..enjoy the rest of your weekend..and please, keep Nate in your thoughts and prayers. He's in my heart, of course. I don't know what i'd do if anything happened to him..I would probably not want to live. LIVE for the moment ya'll..seize the day..SMILE..have fun and make good choices! Love you guys!

-Stace-

Song: I will survive by Gloria Gaynor..we will ALL survive. : )

Happy New Year!!! - 2005-01-01
new update @ LJ. - 2004-12-01
christmas card... - 2004-11-28
update on LJ - 2004-11-18
Happy Halloween!!!! - 2004-10-31

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